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Astrology and sex

May 15, 2008 Leave a Comment Filed Under: Uncategorized

Continuing from my comments on the astrology of people born in the 60’s, another area of interest is the astrological background of people who have sado-masochistic relations..
On one forum, a participant talked of her own research into this area: “But I will say I did my own research on the sexual arena of S&M I thought for sure I would find heavy scorpio or pluto even pisces in there. I went to several of the S&M clubs that we have here around the state and people were kind enough to give me their birth info. When they were so easy going about giving me their birth info I was skeptical about scorpio I was expecting some resistance lol, but I was shocked to discover 95% of the charts had very heavy aquarius. I did not take that energy to be the sadistic type or masochistic type. I can understand maybe the Aquarian energy thinking it’s doing something new and different and a bit taboo but I truly didn’t expect to find it there as I did.”
It seems that the Aquarian generosity towards the group and society can extend to sharing their sex life…
Another fascinating astrological article by Jeff Green on S&M which I shall quote in full:
“The most difficult relationship type is the sadomasochistic relationship. Perhaps it is the most difficult because it has so many forms and expressions that many people do not recognize it for what it is. For example, it can be as simple as a man and women doing the same kind of job, yet the women makes less money. In one form or another, this type of relationship seems to permeate the interrelationships of men and women, and, indeed, the relationships of even gay men and women.

The core archetypal dynamics that generate and lead too this type of relationship is a permeating guilt that leads to atonement or anger, dominance and submission, and inferiority and superiority. And within these dynamics the implicit teaching that flesh in antagonistic to spirit, and that for any real growth or gain to occur that suffering is a prerequisite to such growth.

In a masochistic pathology there will always be three messages, or thought patterns, that permeate the subconscious of such individuals. These underlying thought patterns will thus condition, control, and create the circumstantial realities of the masochistic type of person. These three thought patterns are:

(1) I deserve pain, punishment, crisis, suffering, humility ( to be humiliated), and denial and I do not know why. In addition, the dynamic of denial /avoidance expresses itself as a suppression of the truth that is causing this too occur in such a way as to make excuses that will always sound like rational reasons in order to justify such conditions. And within this the related thought: there must be something wrong with me.

(2) For my needs to be meet, I must hurt first.

(3) I am essentially worthless, while intellectually knowing better.

In essence, a masochistic orientation to reality will create a circumstantial reality that is defined by personal crucifixion; to compulsively sacrifice oneself in a myriad of ways. When atonement is linked with guilt the behavioral manifestation can only lead to pain and crisis. Self-sacrificial behavior, pain, and the creation of inner and outer crisis generates an analytical consciousness wherein analysis linked with crisis, etc., produces self-knowledge. In effect, a masochistic type can only learn about themselves through the creation of crisis and the analysis of self that this will produce. Crisis also has the affect of removing the psychology of denial and avoidance of the truth because of the repetitive nature of crisis formation in the masochist. At some point, the masochist will simply become totally exhausted from the cycle of repetitive crisis and desire to change. When this occurs, the blinders of excuse making will come off. Reality will set in. They can change.

In relationships, the masochist compulsively and habitually attracts one of two types of people. One type is what I call the “emotional wounded birds” of this world. This is the type that needs extensive emotional and psychological healing or repair. They are quite typically very narcissistic, and have no real capacity to acknowledge the actual needs or identity of their masochistic partner. Typically, they are so deeply insecure that they will create and idea or image in their minds of who they think their masochistic partner is, and then expect that partner to be that idea or image. Consequently, the masochistic partner is left feeling completely misunderstood and invalidated, no matter how many confrontations or pleas for recognition occur. In this situation, the masochistic person does almost all the giving, and is constantly putting out the emotional brush fires that the ‘wounded bird’ is creating. It is as if the masochistic partner might as well walk around the house with a white uniform on, red cross on the shoulder, and a name tag on the breast!

The other type that the masochist will attract is what I call the “silver tongue devil type”. This is the type who knows how to present them self; they know what to say in order to “hook” the masochistic type. Yet, once the masochist bites on the hook and makes the decision to be in the relationship, the actual emotional and psychological agenda or reality of the ‘silver tongue devil’ becomes revealed. And this reality has nothing to do with their original presentation of them self. At this point, the masochist becomes totally disillusioned; another crisis is at hand. This is also the type that can promise change in order to re-secure the relationship. Yet, once it is resecured they revert to the old patterns. And, of course, these two types that the masochist can attract can be combined in the same person.

The masochistic type of person reflects a natural kind of innocence that creates naivete and gullibility. They naturally see the spirit or POTENTIAL of an individual, and then expect the person to either be the potential that they perceive, or to actualize what their spirit reflects. Rarely, if ever, do their partners do either. Thus, disillusionment sets in; more crisis. Masochists have a need to be needed; they live for it.

In the sadistic pathology anger is linked with guilt instead of atonement. As a result, the subconscious messages or thought patterns become these:

(1) I have been made to feel guilty and I am angry because of it. Thus, I want to hurt others, and make them feel as guilty or as bad as I do.

(2) I want to make others atone for their mistakes or sins. I want to humiliate others so that I will humiliate myself.

(3) By punishing others for their imperfections, mistakes, or sins I am punishing myself. And, again, this pathology will also make excuses sounding like rational reasons as a way of avoiding/denying the truth of what is actually happening.

These three thought patterns will thus create a circumstantial reality that is defined, is essence, by dominance and submission; the master/slave, superior/inferior, and the victor and vanquished orientations to reality. In men, this leads to a related dynamic that is projected upon women: an underlying or latent fear called the castration complex. For women, who can also be sadistic, the castration complex also applies. This complex is psychological, not literal ! The essence of this complex is the fear or feeling that the opposite gender will disempower, undermine, capture, enslave, or in some undefined way destroy oneself. Consequently, the sadistic pathology will desire to hurt another first, to attack first, to destroy first, to “get even” first, before it allows itself to get hurt, etc. For individuals who are defined by this sadistic pathology, there is always an underlying feeling that someone or somebody is out to get them, to attack them, to hurt them, and to victimize them. And instead of feeling that they deserve this, as the masochist does, they will feel victimized by such feelings. The masochist also feels victimized. But the masochist feels that they deserve to be punished; to be a victim. The sadist feels only anger because of feeling victimized in this way. When anger reacts to the feeling of being victimized in this way, then the anger can only destroy or hurt others; to punish others for the underlying guilt that resides in these individuals psyche or subconscious. In some people, the sadistic and masochistic pathology operate together, the manifestations of each dependent of specific circumstances. In classical psychology, this is known as the passive/aggressive type.

The sadomasochistic relationship typing has a wide range of behavioral applications. In its most overt forms, this dynamic is easily recognized by any of us. The most overt forms, of course, are the classical forms of sadomasochistic sexual practices that most people have some awareness of: the whips and chains, the leather costumes, the spiked heels, all the equipment that creates sexual/emotional torture, and so on. The operative psychological/emotional dynamic in such overt forms is intense pain, and the RELEASE from such pain; intense suffering leading to a sense of freedom when the release from the suffering occurs. In recent modern history, the most gross, yet most recognizable, person who embodied the darkest and most distorted dimensions of this archetype was Marquis de Sade.

The point that I am making is that this sadomasochistic archetype permeates the collective psyche of millions of people living today; and most do not know it. Yes, the most overt forms can be recognized by almost all of us. And in this recognition, we recoil in shock and horror; “how could anybody be like that, to do such things, to allow oneself to be such a way”, and so on. In our times, this dynamic is most easily understood by us as the battered wife syndrome, the abused child syndrome, and the like. All’s we have to do is turn on the television set and observe the next set of people, on the increasingly popular TV talk shows, discussing their childhood abuse to understand how extensively this S&M archetype permeates society. But how many of us can recognize the less overt forms of this archetype? And what are these less overt forms ?

Again, can it not be seen in the man and women doing the same job and the women makes less ? Can it not be seen in a man or a women who withholds their emotional or sexual attention from their partner as a form of punishment ? Can it not be seen in various forms of perpetual criticism from one partner to another; or both. This form can also be linked with “teasing” when that teasing has a motivation of humiliation. Can it not be seen in the man who expects the women to be merely a vicarious extension of his reality whose only purpose is to SERVE his needs ? That the women is inferior to him: a second class citizens at best. Is this not a form of dominance and submission ? And why is it that when a women wants to fully actualize herself that she is considered, consciously or unconsciously, as wanting to be “like a man” ? From mans point of view, is this not an example of the castration complex ? And why is it culturally ok in every society for a man to flaunt his sexuality, to brag about his conquests, to talk about women in the ways that they do, but not ok for a women to do exactly the same? Is this not traceable to the original archetype of The Garden of Eden Myth wherein man is now “getting back” at women for the original temptation ? Thus, the rape of a women. This is really an act of power and rage linked with the castration complex generated in the original Myth. Or, more commonly, the situation of a man who can be emotional and placating to the women in order to have sex with her, and then when the act of sex is over he is suddenly emotionally remote or overtly/covertly disdainful of the women; sometimes even angry at her. Why? He has given in to the temptation ! If you can understand this, then you will understand why women has to be PURE, and why women feel that they must be pure for their men: atonement linked with the original guilt generates the need to be clean: pure.
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Astrologically, the sadomasochistic archetype correlates with the signs of Virgo and Pisces.. Many years ago, for example, I did a research study of people who consciously defined themselves as masochistic or sadistic. This was done in the context of a specialized group of people who were members of an S&M “church”. Of all the people studied, ninety percent had an emphasized 12th or 6th House, a stellium of planets in Pisces or Virgo, and/or the South and North Nodes of the Moon in the 6th or 12th Houses.

Hopefully, love and compassion will replace guilt, and the atonement/anger that this generates. Natural law will become that by which the human being understands life, not man made laws that distort natural law. It is only in this way, that the sadomasochistic archetype will no longer exist.

Astrologically speaking, we all have the signs Virgo and Pisces in our horoscope somewhere. The question becomes this: Where and how is this archetype of sadomasochism operating in your life?”

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MsMarmiteLover aka Kerstin Rodgers.

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