• Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Snapchat
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

MsMarmiteLover

  • Food
    • Recipes
    • Vegetarian
    • Vegan
  • Travel
    • France
    • Italy
    • Spain
    • UK
  • Wine
  • Gardens
  • Supperclubs/Events
  • About
    • Published Articles
    • Books
  • Shop
    • Cart

Ma vie en rosé

August 7, 2008 3 Comments Filed Under: Uncategorized

I spent the year 2005-6 living in Provence. I think, somewhere in the back of their minds, everyone has a dream of living in the South of France…
I came here because I was determined not to put my 11 year old into the local ‘sink comprehensive’(1). I was even prepared to move country. Moving to Grimaud, I enrolled her in the nearest French comprehensive in St.Maxime. In France everybody puts their kids into the local school. Private school costs peanuts, around a £100 a month, and is chosen for religious reasons, as they do not teach any religion in French State schools (separation between church and state very important here). Unlike Britain, particularly London, where the sole topic of conversation between parents of 8 to 11 year olds centres on what secondary school you are trying to get your kid into, France has a comprehensive system that works. This means: lots of lovely well brought up children; good teachers; good facilities; school bus.
School lunches however, were a bit of a problem. I had it in my head that all the kids would sit down to tiny pîchets of red wine with lunch, hors d’oeuvres, plats principals, cheese course, dessert and mini expresso coffees. With the exception of the wine and the expresso, my fantasy was fairly accurate: how many English schools serve goats cheese and crackers with lunch?

Trouble is my teenager is a vegetarian, always has been. She was coming home starving. They mix everything with meat, she complained.
So I stomped up the school and met the hefty cook. She came into the school office wiping her hands on her apron, ready to do battle. Sweetly I asked if she could put aside some of the pasta or the rice but without meat so that my teenager gets something to eat.

“We don’t do all that religious stuff here” she declared “just like we don’t allow veils or crucifixes“.

In France, vegetarianism is a kooky religion.
The mothers outside the school gate, being near to Saint Tropez, looked like film stars. High heels, coiffed hair, full make-up (brown lip-liner a particular fave), colour co-ordinated outfits were par for the course. So unlike our own dear England where most of us mums rock up bleary eyed, in trackie bottoms and hair (Croydon facelift style) in a scrunchie.
Kids don’t wear school uniform in France. The girls wore the latest fashions, jewellery, make-up, heels, tiny skirts over long brown legs. Plus there were school yard fashions. My teenager soon learnt that to wear your backpack high up your back was the ultimate nerdy thing to do. You had to wear the back pack with the straps so long it is hanging down by the backs of your knees. Thereby removing any advantage one might gain from a backpack. This is important in France because all the kids have to carry all their textbooks and exercise books into school every day. There are no lockers. The bags weigh a ton. As a result, French school kids have terrible back problems.
It was surreal waiting outside the school leaning next against a palm tree. And hard for the kids too, trying to concentrate on academia while outside there is beautiful weather, a beach, tennis courts, horse riding etc etc.
My teenager was very brave, starting secondary ‘big’ school in a foreign country. The first term she was terrified: she had to get used to kissing everyone she met on both cheeks which made getting on the school bus quite a lengthy process. By the second term she’d gained enough confidence to start being naughty at school.
She settled in just fine. It was me that had the problems. Being a single mum in a foreign country in the countryside was no fun. I was bloody lonely. The French were not friendly even though I spoke French. France is not a ‘mates’ culture. They hang out with their family. The ex-pats were not in general the sort of people that I would mix with in London. Many of them were a bit ‘Del-boy’, absconding fathers or worse, actual criminals on the run. There were hardly any women (2).
It’s an ex-pat cliché but they did all drink loads. After a couple of months my kidneys hurt from drinking so much rosé. I grew to like a lethal short called a Slippery Nipple: Sambucca, Baileys, with a Grenadine nipple on top.
I was obliged to spend time with the bored British mums, none of whom were single (3). A typical day would be taking kid to school then meeting at the bar opposite Leclerc. You’d do your shopping and then order a few rosés or kirs. Cocktail hour started at 11. All they ever talked about was plastic surgery, diets and how much their husbands annoyed them. Next thing you knew it was tea time so you’d drive home gingerly, quickly tidy up the house so it looked like you’d done something productive, brush your teeth and make dinner.
Some days though I was so depressed and lonely I didn’t even bother to go to the shopping centre (which was basically the only place open in winter…off-season is deathly dull). I just switched on the TV which had Sky. I would watch all the medical and legal dramas and then start on the True Movies channel. I knew I’d watched too many True Movies when they started to repeat the same ones a few months later. I could have pretty much written the script for one myself. A typical storyline would have a psychologically disturbed mother/brave divorcee, who met with Prince Charming/axe murderer who would then steal her child and she would spend the rest of the movie overcoming the illness/beating the odds in some way. It appeals to housewives’ worst fears.
In the evenings, on non-school nights, aching with isolation (for there was no work off-season), I’d drag myself to the only place open, an English pub. It was clear that I didn’t fit in. One Liverpudlian said to me, you’d get on with M, he’s your type, he’s got a bookshelf, like, full of books.

I met with this guy M. I saw the famous ‘bookshelf’ which was singular and measured approximately 15 inches in length. M, however, informed me that he didn’t believe in fiction and would only allow reference books such as dictionaries on this famous bookshelf.
Sometimes you’d meet someone, get on quite well and then further along in the conversation discover that they’d killed someone back in England and could never return. Nobody was who they seemed.
One of the British mums, whose son was grown up, kept talking about her boyfriend. I saw a picture of this boyfriend and he was very good looking and much younger than her. Over the months she continued to talk about him. I asked why he never visited. She said he was working on a building project in England. One day though, to prove his love for her to me, she showed me a long hand written letter from him. Suddenly the penny dropped. I asked a mutual friend if he were in prison.

How did you guess? she asked.

Well, nobody writes hand written letters anymore, especially not ‘successful’ business men. I said. The lack of visits now made sense(4).

1. So called because it is a ‘sink’ comprehensive school, the standard State education. Other parents also contort themselves to avoid sending their kids to a bad local school. They buy studio flats in the catchment area of a good State school if they have the money, sometimes pretending that they have split up. It is a mark of shame if you have only gotten your kid into a bad school. Other parents pretend to be religious. It’s amazing how many children suddenly start attending church at the age of 10. This is to get into a church school. I knew one Jewish mum who got a job at a Church of England school in order to gain entry for her daughter. This whole subject is worth a post in itself.
2. This was because there is no work for women off-season, that is, mid-October to beginning of May. There is only cleaning. The men however have plenty of well paid work… building. For mothers it is particularly difficult because French summer school holidays last 10 weeks from the end of June till September, so effectively you have to work, not see your children and pay for child care in order to work the season. Hence dearth of women in winter. You’d think that’d be good for pulling purposes but let’s face it, French prime minister Edith Cresson was right, British men don’t really like women, and have a marked preference for football and beer.
3. Many of them came from up North so they were quite old-fashioned. Their husbands didn’t like their friends coming over in the evening. If I was round their house, I had to vacate the premises before hubbie got home for tea which of course had to be on the table as soon as he got in or they’d get in trouble. A culture shock for an independant London mum.
4. A similar incident: I was talking to a very glamourous lady at a baby shower. She bemoaned her life since her recent divorce. I was feeling sympathetic until another woman told me that the reason this lady was divorced was because she’d had an affair with the pool boy and decided to get rid of her now inconvenient husband by shopping him to the police for hawking fake Louis Vuitton handbags. He was now in the local jail. All very Desperate Housewives.

Recent posts

midsummer supper club June 17th 2023 Msmarmitelover

My next supper club: midsummer June 17th

May 28, 2023

I organised a street party for the Coronation

May 10, 2023

The Seafood Shack in Ullapool, Scotland.

May 4, 2023

Previous Post: « olives
Next Post: Anarchy in the Republique Francaise »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. caroline

    August 9, 2008 at 11:04 am

    Another beautiful piece of writing from you Ms Marmite Lover…

    eagerly anticipating the next installment

    xcx

    Reply
  2. Ben Emlyn-Jones

    August 10, 2008 at 7:52 am

    Interesting, ML. I actually spent two weeks in 1987 at a French school myself, as part of an exchange programme. It took a bit of getting used to. I appreciated the kissing and constant physical affection that is taboo amonmg the British, but is a normal part of French society; and the food! The school dinners were a wonderous delight for a young British kid to behold! You couldn't get food like that in the best restaurants over here! I did find the toilets strange though. The urinals had a huge picture window overlooking the playgound and I felt uncomfortable having a wee on public display!

    Reply
  3. Ben Emlyn-Jones

    August 10, 2008 at 8:02 am

    Speaking of France being a bolt-hole for British fugatives: did you know that Chris Everard is still stuck there? I actually emailed him asking if he's going to bring out a new film, but he's not replied yet. He was supposed to speak not only at the Probe conference we went to but also Beyond Knowledge in Liverpool and Now That's Weird in Glastonbury.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recipe Rating




Primary Sidebar

MsMarmiteLover aka Kerstin Rodgers.

Chef, photographer, author, journalist, blogger. Pioneer of the supperclub movement.

This is my food and travel blog, with recipes, reviews and travel stories. I also stray into politics, feminism, gardening.

Subscribe to my mailing list

msmarmitelover

Kerstin Rodgers/MsMarmiteLover
Midsummer supperclub 17th June book tickets here h Midsummer supperclub 17th June book tickets here https://msmarmitelover.com/product/midsummer-supper-club-tickets-june-17th at London’s pioneering supper club. Tickets £50 BYO. Scandinavian inspired summery food. #supperclub #msmarmitelover #midsummer #northwestlondon #londonevents #popups
Tina sweating through a gig at Brixton academy cir Tina sweating through a gig at Brixton academy circa 1987 pic: kerstin Rodgers #rip #tinaturner #rockphotographer #kerstinrodgers #teenagephotographer
Attended an incredible talk with @frenchpete_1 on Attended an incredible talk with @frenchpete_1 on war photography in the Ukraine . Go to the exhibition @thebppa @thebargehouse in SE1 last few days 
Had to stop filming cos I was told off. The photographers would be less forthcoming if they were filmed I was told. 
Anyway @frenchpete_1 should be followed by a camera crew cos he’s a star.
For yesterdays lunch I made a blue cheese puff pas For yesterdays lunch I made a blue cheese puff pastry quiche and a little one with less blue cheese & no salt for my 7 month old granddaughter. She absolutely loved it. I’m enjoying seeing her experience and explore new foods with baby led weaning. Avocado, strawberries, kiwi & buttered crumpets are a hit. Pasta less so. Who is this child? Are we even related? #babyledweaning #quiche #homemadepuffpastry
Nice to be featured as The Great Read in The natio Nice to be featured as The Great Read in The national newspaper again. These are the stories I love to do: I go off on an adventure, take my time, interview people (especially women), photograph them in their environment and create recipes on site. This story cost me a lot more than I made as I had an accident and lost my excess. My own damn fault though! Loved loved loved having a campervan. Thanks for lending me it @camperdays.international and sorry about the hole in the side.  https://www.thenational.scot/news/23505593.foraging-seaweed-western-isles/
My terrace on a sunny May morning. The builders @l My terrace on a sunny May morning. The builders @lk.general.building left yesterday. They’ve been working since January. I had the awning installed, the encaustic Minton tiles removed and put back with green grout. The terrace was causing damp so this had to be done. My calamondin plant is looking lovely. The benches which I repaired with hard wood & I repainted using a mix of 2 colours. The marble table I bought in Suffolk at a car boot. Everything is still dusty & I’m waiting for the window cleaner to arrive.
Last but very heartfelt thankyou to @cideriswine f Last but very heartfelt thankyou to @cideriswine for their contribution of these beautiful dry ciders for the coronation street lunch. Gorgeously illustrated labels. #stcuthbertsrd #kilburn #london #cider #artisanaldrinks
When it comes to vodka I much prefer potato vodka. When it comes to vodka I much prefer potato vodka. It’s smoother. Artisanal distillery @devoncovevodka contributed some bottles to my coronation lunch which gave everyone a feeling of being at a classy party. Thanks so much. And also @rawfoodanddrink for arranging. If you want to read my blog post about how and why I organised this event, copy and paste this link: https://t.co/GWNNW2XKba #coronationstreetparty #biglunch #community #kilburn #london #forthepeoplebythepeople
I’ve been a fan of @luscombedrinks for years now I’ve been a fan of @luscombedrinks for years now. They sent a selection: elderflower bubbly, st. Clements orange 🍊 Sicilian lemonade, @belvoirfarm_uk lemonade, which were all delicious and just the tickets for the fortuitous mini-heatwave that occurred on the Sunday coronation lunch. #thankyou #community #coronation #streetparty #biglunch
Our street party. Double page spread in The Sun! T Our street party. Double page spread in The Sun! Tiny bit in the guardian. Decent pic in the Mail and The Star credit @asproider #coronationlunch #kilburn #stcuthbertsrd #kingscroftrd #fordwychrd #templarhouse
My coronation quiche with Broad beans, tarragon, s My coronation quiche with Broad beans, tarragon, spinach, cheddar. I used crème fraiche and blind baked puff pastry shells. I was up at 11 last night making these for todays street party, which featured in the mail, telegraph, mirror, metro courtesy of photographer Gavin Rodgers @asproider
Seaweed foraging at Spring tides in the Outer Hebr Seaweed foraging at Spring tides in the Outer Hebrides with @outerhebrideanforager Fi bird. She’s cutting sea spaghetti. I drove my campervan @camperdays.international from london to the Hebrides- using my gas stove to cook foraged and local ingredients. A real food safari. With the sea spaghetti I made a sea spag vongole with giant parlourdes picked up from the sand at the same time. Great fun, beautiful weather and, the day of the full moon, a wonderfully low tide. This was on south Uist.
More flavours, the flavour thesaurus is a plant-ba More flavours, the flavour thesaurus is a plant-based version of the original. Beautifully constructed, designed and written by @nikisegnit it’s vegetarian rather than vegan but recommended for both. She widens the sensory vocabulary around plant flavours in this book- encouraging new delicious sounding combinations. Now she includes new categories such as flower & meadow, caramel roasted, zesty roost- just the words make me salivate. #foodbooks #bookstagram #newbooks
Yesterday I attended @marmaladeawards @dalemainman Yesterday I attended @marmaladeawards @dalemainmansion I found out so much about marmalade. I’m going to make it this winter. I found out the worlds best maker is Japanese, in fact I was most impressed by the Japanese marmalades in general. Everyone wore orange. I must have tasted 50 marmalades. I met Paddington’s sister, karen jankel who is michael bond’s daughter, born in the same year as Paddington. She gave a charming talk on Paddington, mentioning how the queen insisted on having real marmalade sandwiches in her @launerlondonofficial handbag during the shoot. The house itself is Tudor and Georgian. I stayed in my campervan from @camperdays.international in the car park, cosy in the rain. Another freewheeling adventure. #yorkshire #marmalade #travel #food #ontheroad #campervan
I had a piece in @thetimes on Sunday about being a I had a piece in @thetimes on Sunday about being a vegetarian rather than a vegan. How I still need butter. And how restaurants & plane meals are now vegan rather than vegetarian. But, there are still more the double amount of vegetarians as vegans in the UK. I’ve written a vegan cookbook V is for vegan (link in bio) and am a big fan of vegan foods. I’ve not eaten meat for over 40 years. This is a sustainable diet, in terms of longevity. Vegans that I knew from the early noughties have reverted to meat eating. #newpuritanism? #vegetarian #vegan #foodwriter
Scrambled croft eggs (bright yellow yolks) with a Scrambled croft eggs (bright yellow yolks) with a seaweed that tastes just like truffle. Just done a little kelp foraging at low tide with @thetempleharris’ Amanda Saurin. Isle of Harris. Turquoise sea, white sand, cloud hovering just above. @camperdays.international @roosterpr
I went to Wembley in north west london to talk to I went to Wembley in north west london to talk to Sophie of @tobia.teff she uses the iron-rich, gluten free teff grain from her homeland Ethiopia. She showed me how to make injera, the Ethiopian flatbread which is fermented. She also talked about the coffee ceremony, 3 cups, which they pair with toasted barley or, currently, popcorn! I’d love to visit Ethiopia and find out more about their ancient food culture, history, 3.5k year old monarchy and religions.
Doing a spring budget recipe cooking demo for @bre Doing a spring budget recipe cooking demo for @brentcouncil Willesden library. I’ve been doing this a few times a year for the last few years. Wouldn’t it be great if they had a kitchen set up permanently. Libraries are community centres and could be used to teach how to cook from scratch.
Mother’s Day flowers from @siennamarla who is ex Mother’s Day flowers from @siennamarla who is experiencing her own first Mother’s Day with Ophelia. I’m still living in chaos & work was slow yesterday due to rain. Only another month…
Last week I did a wild foraging walk with @luciath Last week I did a wild foraging walk with @luciathewildkitchen in Kent @kent_downs_aonb just outside Canterbury. I’m going to help out during her May wild asparagus workshop. This chef lived in France, is a brilliant forager and cook. Her campfire meal of lentils, wild garlic raitha and a dukkah of alexanders, Parmesan was genuinely delicious not worthy like so much foraged food.
Load More... Follow on Instagram

Archives

Copyright © 2023 msmarmitelover