• Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Snapchat
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

MsMarmiteLover

  • Food
    • Recipes
    • Vegetarian
    • Vegan
  • Travel
    • France
    • Italy
    • Spain
    • UK
  • Wine
  • Gardens
  • Supperclubs
  • About
    • Press
    • Books
  • Shop
    • Cart

Ma vie en rosé

August 7, 2008 3 Comments Filed Under: Uncategorized

I spent the year 2005-6 living in Provence. I think, somewhere in the back of their minds, everyone has a dream of living in the South of France…
I came here because I was determined not to put my 11 year old into the local ‘sink comprehensive’(1). I was even prepared to move country. Moving to Grimaud, I enrolled her in the nearest French comprehensive in St.Maxime. In France everybody puts their kids into the local school. Private school costs peanuts, around a £100 a month, and is chosen for religious reasons, as they do not teach any religion in French State schools (separation between church and state very important here). Unlike Britain, particularly London, where the sole topic of conversation between parents of 8 to 11 year olds centres on what secondary school you are trying to get your kid into, France has a comprehensive system that works. This means: lots of lovely well brought up children; good teachers; good facilities; school bus.
School lunches however, were a bit of a problem. I had it in my head that all the kids would sit down to tiny pîchets of red wine with lunch, hors d’oeuvres, plats principals, cheese course, dessert and mini expresso coffees. With the exception of the wine and the expresso, my fantasy was fairly accurate: how many English schools serve goats cheese and crackers with lunch?

Trouble is my teenager is a vegetarian, always has been. She was coming home starving. They mix everything with meat, she complained.
So I stomped up the school and met the hefty cook. She came into the school office wiping her hands on her apron, ready to do battle. Sweetly I asked if she could put aside some of the pasta or the rice but without meat so that my teenager gets something to eat.

“We don’t do all that religious stuff here” she declared “just like we don’t allow veils or crucifixes“.

In France, vegetarianism is a kooky religion.
The mothers outside the school gate, being near to Saint Tropez, looked like film stars. High heels, coiffed hair, full make-up (brown lip-liner a particular fave), colour co-ordinated outfits were par for the course. So unlike our own dear England where most of us mums rock up bleary eyed, in trackie bottoms and hair (Croydon facelift style) in a scrunchie.
Kids don’t wear school uniform in France. The girls wore the latest fashions, jewellery, make-up, heels, tiny skirts over long brown legs. Plus there were school yard fashions. My teenager soon learnt that to wear your backpack high up your back was the ultimate nerdy thing to do. You had to wear the back pack with the straps so long it is hanging down by the backs of your knees. Thereby removing any advantage one might gain from a backpack. This is important in France because all the kids have to carry all their textbooks and exercise books into school every day. There are no lockers. The bags weigh a ton. As a result, French school kids have terrible back problems.
It was surreal waiting outside the school leaning next against a palm tree. And hard for the kids too, trying to concentrate on academia while outside there is beautiful weather, a beach, tennis courts, horse riding etc etc.
My teenager was very brave, starting secondary ‘big’ school in a foreign country. The first term she was terrified: she had to get used to kissing everyone she met on both cheeks which made getting on the school bus quite a lengthy process. By the second term she’d gained enough confidence to start being naughty at school.
She settled in just fine. It was me that had the problems. Being a single mum in a foreign country in the countryside was no fun. I was bloody lonely. The French were not friendly even though I spoke French. France is not a ‘mates’ culture. They hang out with their family. The ex-pats were not in general the sort of people that I would mix with in London. Many of them were a bit ‘Del-boy’, absconding fathers or worse, actual criminals on the run. There were hardly any women (2).
It’s an ex-pat cliché but they did all drink loads. After a couple of months my kidneys hurt from drinking so much rosé. I grew to like a lethal short called a Slippery Nipple: Sambucca, Baileys, with a Grenadine nipple on top.
I was obliged to spend time with the bored British mums, none of whom were single (3). A typical day would be taking kid to school then meeting at the bar opposite Leclerc. You’d do your shopping and then order a few rosés or kirs. Cocktail hour started at 11. All they ever talked about was plastic surgery, diets and how much their husbands annoyed them. Next thing you knew it was tea time so you’d drive home gingerly, quickly tidy up the house so it looked like you’d done something productive, brush your teeth and make dinner.
Some days though I was so depressed and lonely I didn’t even bother to go to the shopping centre (which was basically the only place open in winter…off-season is deathly dull). I just switched on the TV which had Sky. I would watch all the medical and legal dramas and then start on the True Movies channel. I knew I’d watched too many True Movies when they started to repeat the same ones a few months later. I could have pretty much written the script for one myself. A typical storyline would have a psychologically disturbed mother/brave divorcee, who met with Prince Charming/axe murderer who would then steal her child and she would spend the rest of the movie overcoming the illness/beating the odds in some way. It appeals to housewives’ worst fears.
In the evenings, on non-school nights, aching with isolation (for there was no work off-season), I’d drag myself to the only place open, an English pub. It was clear that I didn’t fit in. One Liverpudlian said to me, you’d get on with M, he’s your type, he’s got a bookshelf, like, full of books.

I met with this guy M. I saw the famous ‘bookshelf’ which was singular and measured approximately 15 inches in length. M, however, informed me that he didn’t believe in fiction and would only allow reference books such as dictionaries on this famous bookshelf.
Sometimes you’d meet someone, get on quite well and then further along in the conversation discover that they’d killed someone back in England and could never return. Nobody was who they seemed.
One of the British mums, whose son was grown up, kept talking about her boyfriend. I saw a picture of this boyfriend and he was very good looking and much younger than her. Over the months she continued to talk about him. I asked why he never visited. She said he was working on a building project in England. One day though, to prove his love for her to me, she showed me a long hand written letter from him. Suddenly the penny dropped. I asked a mutual friend if he were in prison.

How did you guess? she asked.

Well, nobody writes hand written letters anymore, especially not ‘successful’ business men. I said. The lack of visits now made sense(4).

1. So called because it is a ‘sink’ comprehensive school, the standard State education. Other parents also contort themselves to avoid sending their kids to a bad local school. They buy studio flats in the catchment area of a good State school if they have the money, sometimes pretending that they have split up. It is a mark of shame if you have only gotten your kid into a bad school. Other parents pretend to be religious. It’s amazing how many children suddenly start attending church at the age of 10. This is to get into a church school. I knew one Jewish mum who got a job at a Church of England school in order to gain entry for her daughter. This whole subject is worth a post in itself.
2. This was because there is no work for women off-season, that is, mid-October to beginning of May. There is only cleaning. The men however have plenty of well paid work… building. For mothers it is particularly difficult because French summer school holidays last 10 weeks from the end of June till September, so effectively you have to work, not see your children and pay for child care in order to work the season. Hence dearth of women in winter. You’d think that’d be good for pulling purposes but let’s face it, French prime minister Edith Cresson was right, British men don’t really like women, and have a marked preference for football and beer.
3. Many of them came from up North so they were quite old-fashioned. Their husbands didn’t like their friends coming over in the evening. If I was round their house, I had to vacate the premises before hubbie got home for tea which of course had to be on the table as soon as he got in or they’d get in trouble. A culture shock for an independant London mum.
4. A similar incident: I was talking to a very glamourous lady at a baby shower. She bemoaned her life since her recent divorce. I was feeling sympathetic until another woman told me that the reason this lady was divorced was because she’d had an affair with the pool boy and decided to get rid of her now inconvenient husband by shopping him to the police for hawking fake Louis Vuitton handbags. He was now in the local jail. All very Desperate Housewives.

Recent posts

How to make Easter eggs

April 4, 2021

Learning with experts - baking course online pic: Kerstin rodgers/msmarmitelover.com

Online cooking courses: ‘Learning with experts’

March 11, 2021

latua pasta meal kit pic:Kerstin Rodgers/msmarmitelover

How hospitality has pivoted to survive the Covid lockdown: meal kits, zoom tastings and a delivery supper club

March 5, 2021

Previous Post: « olives
Next Post: Anarchy in the Republique Francaise »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. caroline

    August 9, 2008 at 11:04 am

    Another beautiful piece of writing from you Ms Marmite Lover…

    eagerly anticipating the next installment

    xcx

    Reply
  2. Ben Emlyn-Jones

    August 10, 2008 at 7:52 am

    Interesting, ML. I actually spent two weeks in 1987 at a French school myself, as part of an exchange programme. It took a bit of getting used to. I appreciated the kissing and constant physical affection that is taboo amonmg the British, but is a normal part of French society; and the food! The school dinners were a wonderous delight for a young British kid to behold! You couldn't get food like that in the best restaurants over here! I did find the toilets strange though. The urinals had a huge picture window overlooking the playgound and I felt uncomfortable having a wee on public display!

    Reply
  3. Ben Emlyn-Jones

    August 10, 2008 at 8:02 am

    Speaking of France being a bolt-hole for British fugatives: did you know that Chris Everard is still stuck there? I actually emailed him asking if he's going to bring out a new film, but he's not replied yet. He was supposed to speak not only at the Probe conference we went to but also Beyond Knowledge in Liverpool and Now That's Weird in Glastonbury.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recipe Rating




Primary Sidebar

MsMarmiteLover aka Kerstin Rodgers.

Chef, photographer, author, journalist, blogger. Pioneer of the supperclub movement.

This is my food and travel blog, with recipes, reviews and travel stories. I also stray into politics, feminism, gardening.

Subscribe to my mailing list

msmarmitelover

Kerstin Rodgers/MsMarmiteLover
Last night toasting marshmallows over a bonfire as Last night toasting marshmallows over a bonfire as snow fell, a special kind of flinty glinting snow. A trident of marshmallow, Easter in London.  #outsidedining #bonfire #easter #toastingmarshmallowsbythefire #snow #inmygarden #londongarden
Pistachio cream filled mini eggs. I made my own Ea Pistachio cream filled mini eggs. I made my own Easter eggs this year. You need moulds-a lint free cloth to polish them- some good quality chocolate like @guittardchocolate - a pastry brush. Melt the chocolate drops over a bainmarie or 30 seconds in the microwave. Brush the chocolate into the moulds trying not to go over the edge and put the mould in the fridge. Once hardened and chilled, use a teaspoon to drop in the pistachio cream. Return to fridge. Warm up a baking tray in the oven. Then take the mini eggs put of the fridge and pop them out of the moulds. Place the flat side on the warm baking tray then press the two halves together. #easter #pacques #minieggs #eastereggs #chocolate #chocolaterecipe #easterrecipe #makeyourowneastereggs #supperclub #msmarmitelover #easter2021 #easterbasket #easterchocolateeggs
Ok this is super simple. A tomato & sweetcorn sala Ok this is super simple. A tomato & sweetcorn salad. Always have tons of sweet corn in your house because they make an instant salad. You can combine it with cucumber, tomato, halloumi, feta, herbs, peaches, and obviously tuna. I dressed this with lime and olive oil, but you could use a mustard vinaigrette or mayonnaise.  #simplefood #saladideas #sweetcorn #tinnedfood #lockdownlarder #covidpantry #summerfood #supperclub #thejoyoftins #Msmarmitelover
Potato and rosemary pizza with tomato & parsley sa Potato and rosemary pizza with tomato & parsley salad. Potato pizza sounds strange, after all you are double carbing. But it works. Thin soft slices of potato ( cut on a mandolin, soaked in water, then carefully dried on a tea towel) layered over day old pizza dough. ( leaving your dough a day or several just makes it deeper flavoured). A few sprigs of flowering rosemary from the garden too. I used @pomoragoodfood flavoured olive oils: the rosemary on the pizza, and garlic flavour in the salad. I also love the lemon flavour. #sundaylunch #homemadepizza #potatopizza #doublecarb #salad #simplefood #supperclub
My daughters 27th birthday today. Her cake didn’ My daughters 27th birthday today. Her cake didn’t arrive this morning so quickly knocked up a 3 tier chocolate cake with blueberry buttercream & mint, rose & violet pieces. Also made my first hand tied bouquet from yellow roses, garden daffodils, rosemary in flower & palm fronds. She’s moving flat today so it’s not been too much of a celebration so far 🎉🍾🥂#chocolatecake #birthdaycake #flowers #floristry #bouquet #spring #27 #darlingdaughter #birthday #supperclubchef
Broccoli & mushroom donburi rice bowls for lunch. Broccoli & mushroom donburi rice bowls for lunch. Ready in 10 minutes. Steam rice, chop veg, fry, add teriyaki sauce, sesame seeds & spring onion. #bubblelunch #supperclub #vegan #vegetarian #healthyeating #japanese #donburi #donburibowl
Cheese box feast with wines, biscuits, my persimmo Cheese box feast with wines, biscuits, my persimmon fruit cheese (aged 2 years), my whole meal walnut & cherry loaf. From @thecheeseclubuk #cheesefeast #britishcheeses #bread #wines #sundaylunch #supperclub #picnic
Sometimes for dinner or lunch all I do is shove a Sometimes for dinner or lunch all I do is shove a load of vegetables on a roasting tin, toss them in olive oil, salt, pepper, fresh herbs (woody ones like rosemary) and roast. I cut the potatoes up fairly small so they all take the same amount of time. I cook on an aga which is a weighty cast iron oven where you are supposed to cook 80% of your good in the oven, and 20% on top, so this is an easy option- no preheating necessary because an aga is on all the time. Here I have aubergine, carrots, butternut squash & potatoes 🥔 . I have loads of roast veg ideas in my book V is for vegan. #vegan #vegetarian #roasting #easymeals #supperclub #aga #ovenroasted #visforvegan #msmarmitelover #londonchef
I was sent this incredible box of cheeses from @th I was sent this incredible box of cheeses from @thecheeseclubuk 7 cheeses including sheep rustler, blue Cheshire, Elric log, rachel, sparkenhoe Red Leicester, keens cheddar, Ayrshire Dunlop, 3 pots of piccalilli, chutney, onion jam. Crackers, biscuits. And a bottle of moscato d’asti. Really impressed. This will be a spring feast. £50 and you get a different seasonal on each month. They say it’s for two people but I’d say 4. A nice birthday gift. #cheese #britishcheese #cheesehamper #cheeseclub #cheesesofinstagram #hamper #gift #springsurprise #mealkits #cheeseandcrackers #wineandcheese
Aubergine rendang curry for lunch, an Indonesian d Aubergine rendang curry for lunch, an Indonesian dish. #bubblelunch #covidcuisine #usingupfood #dailylunch #supperclub #curry #rendang #vegan
Moqueca stew with butternut squash & jackfruit. Ma Moqueca stew with butternut squash & jackfruit. Many Brazilian dishes are African influenced & this is no exception, deriving from an Angolan stew. Usually it is with seafood, but this is a vegan version. I used palm oil which is also very Brazilian/Angolan. It’s red because of the high levels of beta-carotene. There are environmental issues around the use of palm oil- rainforest is cut down to access it. Like coconut oil it is solid when cool and liquid when heated. I spent a few months in the sertao region of Brazil & read the magical realism fiction of Jorge Amado . One of his novels: Dona Flor and her two husbands, contains recipes. She bewitched her husbands with her Brazilian cooking. #bubblelunch #brazilianfood #sertão #moqueca #vegan #stew #angolanfood #lockdownlarder #supperclub #covidcuisine #msmarmitelover #food #homecooked
Steamed griddled Savoy cabbage wedges with butter, Steamed griddled Savoy cabbage wedges with butter, poppy seed, citrus dressing. I used to hate cruciferous sulphuric vegetables like cabbage & Brussels sprouts but now I’m addicted. In other news after 8 weeks my air boot is off (from my broken ankle) but I seem to have forgotten how to walk. Really bizarre. I’m still shuffling & limping. Will I get better?  Bowl by @homesense.  #bubblelunch #covidcuisine #supperclub #vegetarian #recipe #cabbage #cruciferousvegetables #inulin #fibre #everythingtastesbetterwithbutter
Stuffed savoury persimmons. You can pretty much st Stuffed savoury persimmons. You can pretty much stuff anything: peppers, courgettes, aubergines, squash, potatoes skins, bananas, tomatoes. With enamel spoon and bowl. Cut the little hats off, set aside. Then stuff the veg with cooked rice, or freekeh or couscous or bulghur wheat, mix with finely chopped preserved lemon, some nuts or seeds, a fresh herb of your choice. Add a little olive oil & seasoning. Put the hats back on. Bake for 30 minutes.  #supperclub #stuffedvegetables #vegetarian #recipe #motheringsunday2021 #lockdown2021 #covidcuisine #enamelware
Yesterday I made tacos with refried black beans, h Yesterday I made tacos with refried black beans, halloumi, sour cream, Mayo with chipotle, guacamole, cucumbers & lettuce. It was the second half of a @hellofreshuk meal kit and I bumped it up with fridge foraging. You see that b & w round fabric pouch? This is a tortilla warmer. One of my best buys ever. It keeps them soft & warm, using the trapped heat to steam the tortillas. I bought this in New Mexico but I imagine you can get them online here. #mexicanfood #tacos #blackbeans #leftovers #lockdownlarder #bubblelunch #refriedbeans #supperclub #mealkit #fridgeforaging #msmarmitelover #tortillawarmer
Nothing like homemade freshly fried falafel. I’m Nothing like homemade freshly fried falafel. I’m doing the Syrian version: 50% chickpea and 50% fuul Mesdames( peeled) & plenty of sesame seeds. This makes them soft & fluffy on the inside. Served with made from scratch hummus, cucumber salad & home baked bread. #lunchbubble #falafel #syrianfood #foulmesdames #pulses #fromscratch #fromscratchcooking #supperclub #lockdownlunch #covidcuisine
Been baking up a storm over the last couple of wee Been baking up a storm over the last couple of weeks. I did a @learningwithexperts baking course taught by @richardbertinet I now have baskets of focaccia, olive & sundried tomato breadsticks, sesame plaits, poppy seed stars, pizza bases, walnut & sour cherry loaves. I’ve practised my white dough, pain de mine, olive dough & brown dough. Basic courses from £35. It’s a good moment to revise basics & enhance your skills during lockdown. Enjoyable & motivating. #onlineclasses #onlinelearning #onlinebaking #covidlearningexperiences #bakersofinstagram #msmarmitelover #breadmaking #breadbaking #breadlover #breadporn
Egg fried rice and steamed broccoli with sesame dr Egg fried rice and steamed broccoli with sesame dressing. Bubble lunch. #lunch #vegetarian #lockdownlunch #asianvegetarian #supperclub #pantrycooking #lockdownlarder
Today’s lunch: cauliflower & chickpea curry with Today’s lunch: cauliflower & chickpea curry with rice & carrot chaat salad. My bubble are here everyday working on their computers & I provide an ‘office’ lunch #vegetarian #vegan #5aday #supperclub #lockdownlife #covidpantry #curry #cauliflower #chickpeas #chaat
Today’s lunch was mushroom, garlic, cheddar filo Today’s lunch was mushroom, garlic, cheddar filo pie with poppy seeds. Warm Roast peppers with preserved lemon 🍋 & pistachio nibs. #lockdownlarder #pantry #supperclub #covidlunch #vegetarian #quick&tasty #filopie #warmsalad #internetcafe
My bubble brought some fresh clams over today & I My bubble brought some fresh clams over today & I made spaghetti vongole. Rinse the clams under running cold water, any that are broken or do not close, discard. Chop up shallots or onion, a whole bulb of garlic. Then soften the onion then the garlic in a deep frying pan. Boil the water for the linguine & add a handful of sea salt. Then add a glass of white wine to the onion/garlic, the clams, lots of freshly ground pepper & flat leaf parsley. A couple of minutes off cooking time, drain the linguine & put in the pan with the clams etc. Serve with more parsley, a drizzle of olive oil. #lockdownlife #sundaylunch #spagvong #pasta #spaghettivongole #supperclub #msmarmitelover #londonlockdown #quickdinners
Load More... Follow on Instagram

Archives

Copyright © 2021 msmarmitelover