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Ma vie en rosé

August 7, 2008 3 Comments Filed Under: Uncategorized

I spent the year 2005-6 living in Provence. I think, somewhere in the back of their minds, everyone has a dream of living in the South of France…
I came here because I was determined not to put my 11 year old into the local ‘sink comprehensive’(1). I was even prepared to move country. Moving to Grimaud, I enrolled her in the nearest French comprehensive in St.Maxime. In France everybody puts their kids into the local school. Private school costs peanuts, around a £100 a month, and is chosen for religious reasons, as they do not teach any religion in French State schools (separation between church and state very important here). Unlike Britain, particularly London, where the sole topic of conversation between parents of 8 to 11 year olds centres on what secondary school you are trying to get your kid into, France has a comprehensive system that works. This means: lots of lovely well brought up children; good teachers; good facilities; school bus.
School lunches however, were a bit of a problem. I had it in my head that all the kids would sit down to tiny pîchets of red wine with lunch, hors d’oeuvres, plats principals, cheese course, dessert and mini expresso coffees. With the exception of the wine and the expresso, my fantasy was fairly accurate: how many English schools serve goats cheese and crackers with lunch?

Trouble is my teenager is a vegetarian, always has been. She was coming home starving. They mix everything with meat, she complained.
So I stomped up the school and met the hefty cook. She came into the school office wiping her hands on her apron, ready to do battle. Sweetly I asked if she could put aside some of the pasta or the rice but without meat so that my teenager gets something to eat.

“We don’t do all that religious stuff here” she declared “just like we don’t allow veils or crucifixes“.

In France, vegetarianism is a kooky religion.
The mothers outside the school gate, being near to Saint Tropez, looked like film stars. High heels, coiffed hair, full make-up (brown lip-liner a particular fave), colour co-ordinated outfits were par for the course. So unlike our own dear England where most of us mums rock up bleary eyed, in trackie bottoms and hair (Croydon facelift style) in a scrunchie.
Kids don’t wear school uniform in France. The girls wore the latest fashions, jewellery, make-up, heels, tiny skirts over long brown legs. Plus there were school yard fashions. My teenager soon learnt that to wear your backpack high up your back was the ultimate nerdy thing to do. You had to wear the back pack with the straps so long it is hanging down by the backs of your knees. Thereby removing any advantage one might gain from a backpack. This is important in France because all the kids have to carry all their textbooks and exercise books into school every day. There are no lockers. The bags weigh a ton. As a result, French school kids have terrible back problems.
It was surreal waiting outside the school leaning next against a palm tree. And hard for the kids too, trying to concentrate on academia while outside there is beautiful weather, a beach, tennis courts, horse riding etc etc.
My teenager was very brave, starting secondary ‘big’ school in a foreign country. The first term she was terrified: she had to get used to kissing everyone she met on both cheeks which made getting on the school bus quite a lengthy process. By the second term she’d gained enough confidence to start being naughty at school.
She settled in just fine. It was me that had the problems. Being a single mum in a foreign country in the countryside was no fun. I was bloody lonely. The French were not friendly even though I spoke French. France is not a ‘mates’ culture. They hang out with their family. The ex-pats were not in general the sort of people that I would mix with in London. Many of them were a bit ‘Del-boy’, absconding fathers or worse, actual criminals on the run. There were hardly any women (2).
It’s an ex-pat cliché but they did all drink loads. After a couple of months my kidneys hurt from drinking so much rosé. I grew to like a lethal short called a Slippery Nipple: Sambucca, Baileys, with a Grenadine nipple on top.
I was obliged to spend time with the bored British mums, none of whom were single (3). A typical day would be taking kid to school then meeting at the bar opposite Leclerc. You’d do your shopping and then order a few rosés or kirs. Cocktail hour started at 11. All they ever talked about was plastic surgery, diets and how much their husbands annoyed them. Next thing you knew it was tea time so you’d drive home gingerly, quickly tidy up the house so it looked like you’d done something productive, brush your teeth and make dinner.
Some days though I was so depressed and lonely I didn’t even bother to go to the shopping centre (which was basically the only place open in winter…off-season is deathly dull). I just switched on the TV which had Sky. I would watch all the medical and legal dramas and then start on the True Movies channel. I knew I’d watched too many True Movies when they started to repeat the same ones a few months later. I could have pretty much written the script for one myself. A typical storyline would have a psychologically disturbed mother/brave divorcee, who met with Prince Charming/axe murderer who would then steal her child and she would spend the rest of the movie overcoming the illness/beating the odds in some way. It appeals to housewives’ worst fears.
In the evenings, on non-school nights, aching with isolation (for there was no work off-season), I’d drag myself to the only place open, an English pub. It was clear that I didn’t fit in. One Liverpudlian said to me, you’d get on with M, he’s your type, he’s got a bookshelf, like, full of books.

I met with this guy M. I saw the famous ‘bookshelf’ which was singular and measured approximately 15 inches in length. M, however, informed me that he didn’t believe in fiction and would only allow reference books such as dictionaries on this famous bookshelf.
Sometimes you’d meet someone, get on quite well and then further along in the conversation discover that they’d killed someone back in England and could never return. Nobody was who they seemed.
One of the British mums, whose son was grown up, kept talking about her boyfriend. I saw a picture of this boyfriend and he was very good looking and much younger than her. Over the months she continued to talk about him. I asked why he never visited. She said he was working on a building project in England. One day though, to prove his love for her to me, she showed me a long hand written letter from him. Suddenly the penny dropped. I asked a mutual friend if he were in prison.

How did you guess? she asked.

Well, nobody writes hand written letters anymore, especially not ‘successful’ business men. I said. The lack of visits now made sense(4).

1. So called because it is a ‘sink’ comprehensive school, the standard State education. Other parents also contort themselves to avoid sending their kids to a bad local school. They buy studio flats in the catchment area of a good State school if they have the money, sometimes pretending that they have split up. It is a mark of shame if you have only gotten your kid into a bad school. Other parents pretend to be religious. It’s amazing how many children suddenly start attending church at the age of 10. This is to get into a church school. I knew one Jewish mum who got a job at a Church of England school in order to gain entry for her daughter. This whole subject is worth a post in itself.
2. This was because there is no work for women off-season, that is, mid-October to beginning of May. There is only cleaning. The men however have plenty of well paid work… building. For mothers it is particularly difficult because French summer school holidays last 10 weeks from the end of June till September, so effectively you have to work, not see your children and pay for child care in order to work the season. Hence dearth of women in winter. You’d think that’d be good for pulling purposes but let’s face it, French prime minister Edith Cresson was right, British men don’t really like women, and have a marked preference for football and beer.
3. Many of them came from up North so they were quite old-fashioned. Their husbands didn’t like their friends coming over in the evening. If I was round their house, I had to vacate the premises before hubbie got home for tea which of course had to be on the table as soon as he got in or they’d get in trouble. A culture shock for an independant London mum.
4. A similar incident: I was talking to a very glamourous lady at a baby shower. She bemoaned her life since her recent divorce. I was feeling sympathetic until another woman told me that the reason this lady was divorced was because she’d had an affair with the pool boy and decided to get rid of her now inconvenient husband by shopping him to the police for hawking fake Louis Vuitton handbags. He was now in the local jail. All very Desperate Housewives.

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Comments

  1. caroline

    August 9, 2008 at 11:04 am

    Another beautiful piece of writing from you Ms Marmite Lover…

    eagerly anticipating the next installment

    xcx

    Reply
  2. Ben Emlyn-Jones

    August 10, 2008 at 7:52 am

    Interesting, ML. I actually spent two weeks in 1987 at a French school myself, as part of an exchange programme. It took a bit of getting used to. I appreciated the kissing and constant physical affection that is taboo amonmg the British, but is a normal part of French society; and the food! The school dinners were a wonderous delight for a young British kid to behold! You couldn't get food like that in the best restaurants over here! I did find the toilets strange though. The urinals had a huge picture window overlooking the playgound and I felt uncomfortable having a wee on public display!

    Reply
  3. Ben Emlyn-Jones

    August 10, 2008 at 8:02 am

    Speaking of France being a bolt-hole for British fugatives: did you know that Chris Everard is still stuck there? I actually emailed him asking if he's going to bring out a new film, but he's not replied yet. He was supposed to speak not only at the Probe conference we went to but also Beyond Knowledge in Liverpool and Now That's Weird in Glastonbury.

    Reply

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MsMarmiteLover aka Kerstin Rodgers.

Chef, photographer, author, journalist, blogger. Pioneer of the supperclub movement.

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Kerstin Rodgers/MsMarmiteLover
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On the heath on Sunday. Must. Walk. More. #coronal On the heath on Sunday. Must. Walk. More. #coronaloner
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Galette des Rois, made yesterday in 12th night. Mi Galette des Rois, made yesterday in 12th night. Minus Crown and king as I cannot find either. This one is made with Tonka bean. Plus homemade puff pastry (well worth the effort). According to ike delorenzo at The Atlantic:  The tonka bean, a flat, wrinkled legume from South America with an outsize flavor that the US government has declared illegal. Nonetheless, it proliferates on elite American menus. The tiniest shavings erupt in a Broceliande of transporting, mystical aromas.
The taste of the tonka bean is linked strongly to its scent. "Scents," I should say, as the tonka bean has many at once. I register the aromas of vanilla, cherry, almond, and something spicy—a bit like cinnamon. When served cold—say, in tonka bean ice cream—the taste is like a vanilla caramel with dark honey. When warm, perhaps shaved over scallops, it moves toward spiced vanilla. Additionally, the aroma of the tonka bean shavings (it's almost always shaved) is so affecting that it seems like an actual taste in the way that opium, which has no taste in the traditional sense, "tastes" like its rich, flowery smoke.  Here is the recipe: 

Tonka bean galette des rois

Serves 8
Ingredients
* 140 g caster sugar
* 125 g salted butter, softened
* 100 g ground almonds
* 2 eggs, medium
* 1 tonka bean, grated
* 2 packs ready made butter puff pastry on a roll
* 1 yolk for brushing the pastry
Instructions
* Preheat your oven to 200c.

* Blend the butter with the sugar then add the almonds. Make sure it’s well mixed. Add in the 2 eggs one at a time, then add the tonka bean.

* If using a block: divide the puff pastry into two and roll out to 5mm thick. 
* Make two circles about 15 cm’s each in diameter. Lay one circle on a silicone mat/parchment paper on a baking tray and fill with the almond cream leaving a 3 cm border around the edge. 
* Paint the border with the egg yolk. Then lay the other circle on top, sealing the edges with a fork. 
* You could then carve designs into the top. Make a little slit in the middle to let steam escape then brush the top with the egg yolk
Mapo tofu is probably my favourite Sichuan dish. T Mapo tofu is probably my favourite Sichuan dish. This is a vegan version. ***

Ingredients:
- 400 g box of soft tofu not silken
- 5 soaked dried shiitake mushrooms, diced, keep water
- 1 red bell pepper, finely sliced
- 400 g fresh shiitake mushroom, sliced thinly
- 400 ml vegetable stock
- 1 thumb fresh ginger, minced
- 3 cloves garlic, crushed
- 4 tbsps groundnut or vegetable oil
- 3 tbsp fermented bean paste
- 1 or 2 small red chillies, minced or a spoonful of Chinese chilli paste
- 1 tsp heaped sichuan peppercorns, finely ground
- 2 tbsps soy or tamari sauce
- 2 tbsp cornflour in 3 tbsps water, mixed into a slurry
- 4 spring onions, finely sliced
- large pinch fresh coriander leaves

Prepare the tofu by cutting it into one inch cubes and soaking it in hot but not boiling salted water. Drain after 15 minutes.
Soak the dried shiitake mushrooms, covering them in boiling water. Leave until soft, then dice the mushrooms. Retain the mushroom soaking water and add to the vegetable stock water.
Prepare the other ingredients so they are ready to stir-fry: red bell pepper, fresh mushrooms, ginger, garlic.

Using a wok or deep frying pan, add the oil and heat to frying temperature. Add the bell peppers,fry for a couple of minutes, then add fermented bean paste, chilli paste or chillies, ginger, garlic, soy sauce, sichuan pepper.
Add the mushroom/vegetable broth and simmer on high for a couple of minutes.
Carefully add the cubes of tofu, taking care not to break them too much.
Add the cornflour slurry, stirring for a couple of minutes.
Serve with rice or noodles, garnishing with spring onions or chives and or coriander leaves.  #veganuary #mapotofu #sichuanfood #tofu  #shitakemushrooms #supperclub #londonchef #msmarmitelover #ham&highcolumn #eatplants #lockdown3 #selfisolation #coronaloner #cooking #recipe #cookingfromscratch
Macaroni cheese with odds and sods from the Christ Macaroni cheese with odds and sods from the Christmas leftover cheese board. I’ve used @paxtonscheese truffled brillat-savarin and a mystery hard cheese that’s lost its label. Plus cream and topped it with samphire fried in butter. Haven’t bothered with making a roux- this is the lockdown lazy version.  #lockdownlazy #lockdown3 #supperclub #macandcheese #macaronicheese #truffledcheese #leftovers #leftovercheeseboard #londonlockdown #breakfast #coronaloner
Another thing the Japanese are brilliant at is san Another thing the Japanese are brilliant at is sandwiches. They use the softest, whitest, fluffiest bread. Their mayonnaise kewpie is gorgeous I don’t know why. Perhaps someone here can explain? Here I’ve used sourdough as it’s what I have; kosho which is a Yuzu citrus and green chilli condiment and the aforesaid kewpie Mayo to make an egg 🥚 sandwich.  I’m not a big egg fan but I suddenly had the urge. Also I’ve noticed when I eat eggs it satiates my hunger for hours. All that protein.  #sandwich #sandwiches #japanesesandwich #kewpiemayo #kosho #eggsandwich #sourdough #supperclub #cookingforone #solo #londonlife #lockdownlondon #recipe #snack #sundaysnack #sando
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Writing about tofu which I think has an unfair rep Writing about tofu which I think has an unfair reputation in this country. It’s so flexible and is a brilliant flavour sponge. Here I’m preparing my soft tofu for a Japanese dish: agedashi tofu. I first pressed it in a clean tea towel with a weight on top to firm it up a bit but not too much. Then I dusted it with cornflour and I will deep fry it in oil. Then I will serve it in a broth of dashi/mirin and tamari sauce, sprinkled with finely chopped spring onions and togarashi pepper from Japan. I would usually add some finely mandolined daikon radish but couldn’t find any. It’s a subtle dish of texture: soft yet crispy. After Christmas I’m desperate for light zingy fresh flavoured food. #supperclub #tofu #vegan #vegetarian #agedashitofu #newyearsday #cookingagain #lunch #asian #japanesefood
Happy new year from my bubble to yours! Keep holdi Happy new year from my bubble to yours! Keep holding on...
#happynewyear #happynewyear2021 #supperclub #hootenanny
Some of my Christmas food 🥘 lots of veg includi Some of my Christmas food 🥘 lots of veg including mashed swede with cheese and butter. I put pomegranate seeds with my sprouts, and cooked my carrots in marmalade ( worked v well), the mushroom wreath fell apart as I was transferring it to a tray 😤, roast potatoes and parsnips, then a cheese spread with fruit nuts, quince cheese (homemade), Chocs @lindtuk 😍 @guylian_uk @disaronno_official @baileysofficial @taylorsportwine and Brazil nuts. Plus a pavlova wreath ready to be topped with whipped cream and persimmons. 
#christmasdinner #vegetarianchristmas #vegetarianchristmasdinner #supperclub #londonchristmas #liqueurs #christmasspread #grazing #cheeseboard #port #pavlova
Christmas has started! Home-cured smoked beetroot Christmas has started!  Home-cured smoked beetroot and aquavit salmon with homemade blinis, creme fraiche, dill, Prosecco.  The fire is lit 🔥, the tree is up, 🎄the presents 🎁 are wrapped, we have a #brexit deal- a Christmas miracle. Peace and harmony. #christmas #christmasinengland #homemade #christmaseve #blinis #smokedsalmon #prosecco🍾 #londonchristmas
Done some doorscaping, the latest trend in Christm Done some doorscaping, the latest trend in Christmas decorating. It might also cheer up passersby. #christmas #christmasdecor #doorscaping #doorsofinstagram #londonchristmas #doorwreath #doordecor #doorsoftheworld #doordecoration #exteriors #london #supperclub #covidchristmas
Look at my gorgeous Nordic pine Christmas tree 🎄 from @pinesandneedles with some family ornaments and beautiful foodie ornaments from @gisela_graham  it’s 7 foot high and no drop. My parents brought over the candle lights. I’ve also used paper ornaments (apples and pears cut from maps) from @dionne_leonard which I first commissioned for a supper club.  #christmas #christmastree #christmasdecor #foodiedecorations #glassbaubles #supperclub #christmasinlondon
More #fbmarketplacefinds I find meeting the seller More #fbmarketplacefinds I find meeting the sellers interesting. It’s often about moving on whether through death, a change of circumstances, moving country, loss of a job. Today I visited a gorgeously renovated Edwardian house where the owners, an antique dealer & a master decorator had died with 18 months of each other of cancer.  The sister was there emptying the house, an incredibly painful experience. The husband who died was an expert in putting up lincrusta wallpaper which I’ve pictured here. All that craftsmanship and knowledge lost now.  The piece I got on Sunday, the teal chinoiserie cabinet, was from a Spanish guy returning to Spain. He’d lost his job as a hotel manager, the hotel, a big one, has now closed. The marble coffee table and arepas grill was from a Spanish couple who’d had a restaurant here for 40 years. They are now returning to Spain. Other slides: green Edwardian fireplace tiles, William Morris wallpaper, 2 small scalloped coffee tables, a knife and fork cutlery hook set.  A fireplace for my bedroom if I can find someone to put it in. #lockdownstories #covidstories #movingon #decor #interiors #bargains #secondhandstyle #edwardianstyle #williammorris #tiles #wallpaper #scallopededge #teal #chinoiserie #whitemarble #vintage #kitchenalia #supperclubrefurb #london #lincrustawallpaper
Another #fbmarketplace find £30. I can’t afford Another #fbmarketplace find £30. I can’t afford proper chinoiserie so I make do with fakes. The gradual doing up of my flat proceeds apace. Need to start on main bedroom. Looking for a storage ottoman (velvet?) bench to turn into a horizontal filing cabinet.  Any ideas? Above is a map of london based on the A to Z map which a minicab office was tossing out. Remember when we all carried mini A to Z books in our handbags? Before google maps? #nocrushedvelvet #chinoiserie #supperclubrefurb #londonapartment #londonflat #norfweezy #decor #organising #storage #interiors
My new/old rise and fall light over the dining tab My new/old rise and fall light over the dining table. Found for £50 on #fbmarketplace  but originally from @thefrenchhouse.net_ one of my favourite shops. Every day, a little more progress. #supperclubrefurb #supperclub #londonflat #interiors #lighting #riseandfalllights #lightingisimportant #frenchstyle #vintagestyle #rusticstyle #turquoise #diningtabledecor
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Still working on my glass cupboard. I’ve hung up Still working on my glass cupboard. I’ve hung up all my wine bottle openers and cork screws. My favourite is the zigzag bottom left. If you find them at a flea market in France, if you are lucky you may get it for around 35 euros.  #supperclub #londonflat #londoninteriors #corkscrews #frenchkitchenalia #zigzag #tirebouchon #oakcupboard #diy #diyprojects
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