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I blame the parents…

September 2, 2008 10 Comments Filed Under: Uncategorized

Burqa sewing pattern

Earlier in this post I talked about my darling Anglo-Pakistani pupil. She just called to say that she got 2 ‘A’ grades for her GCSE’s in English Literature and English Language. She was such a delight to teach. These strict Muslim families must be doing something right. In fact I’m just about to run up a burqa on my sewing machine for my own sweet teen. 

Some hope.
Today my teenager decided to dye her hair black. She wanted to look like Helena Bonham-Carter in Fight Club (she’s already been moving towards that look with an unwashed tangly bob hairstyle and pale face/purple eye make-up, all très heroin chic).
She goes down to Superdrug and buys the black dye. Apparently they are not allowed to sell permanent hair dye to under 18’s. The shop assistant asks her age. My teenager replies: “I consider myself to be timeless.” This does the trick because the shop assistant shrugs and sells her the dye. 
My teenager then squirts some of one of the bottles in the package all over her head. She hasn’t read the instructions. She was supposed to mix two bottles together. Belatedly she mixes them together and covers her head with the stuff. She uses my white towels to do this. Yup.
She then runs up to me, screaming in panic, because while her hair is turning black so is the skin on her face and neck. 
She looks more like Helena Bonham-Carter in Planet of the Apes. 
Of course all of this is because school starts tomorrow and she wants to look cool. 

Helena Bonham-Carter in Fight Club

Helena Bonham-Carter in Planet of the Apes

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Comments

  1. corbin

    September 3, 2008 at 11:53 am

    can't stop laughing
    seen this so many times at home …
    still funny every time.
    must..control.. gales .. of .. laughter …

    Reply
  2. [email protected]

    September 3, 2008 at 11:58 am

    I didn't really lose my temper with her over the white towels cos I remember so well doing the same thing myself when I was her age…
    I often find it hard to keep a straight face when I'm telling her off.
    This teen stage is simultaneously the most annoying and the most fun part of her development so far!

    Reply
  3. Ben Emlyn-Jones

    September 5, 2008 at 9:49 am

    I remember that! I was actually talking to someone at work yesterday, who reads my blog, and she said that remark made by your teenager about being "timeless". I told her where I'd heard that and she said: "Oh, that's where I read it too!"

    So some people who read HPANWO are following the link to Marmite-Lover and reading that too. Hope you appreciate the free publicity! 😉

    Reply
  4. [email protected]

    September 5, 2008 at 10:44 am

    I most certainly do, Ben! Also it seems it is working vice versa. Check out Crazyegg. They do a 'heatmap' on your blog, to see where people are clicking and people are clicking on the link to your excellently researched and written blog…in the side-bar.
    This 'heatmap' enables you to design your page better.

    Reply
  5. migratingfishswim

    October 3, 2008 at 9:04 pm

    LOL, brings back memories of my own teenage hair-dyeing days.

    i've been recommend your blog by a mutual friend: the lovely, samba-playing lorraine p. and she's right, it's most enjoyable

    Reply
  6. [email protected]

    October 4, 2008 at 6:29 pm

    Ah thank you migratingfishswim…you aren't a Pisces by any chance?

    The lovely Lorraine can flirt for Britain…I do think they should bring it in as an Olympic sport actually!

    Reply
  7. migratingfishswim

    October 6, 2008 at 8:05 am

    LOL, no another watery sign, cancer.

    i had no idea lorraine was so good at flirting, i know her thru work, so don't get to see that side of her 🙂

    Reply
  8. [email protected]

    October 6, 2008 at 8:49 am

    The lovely Lorraine is of course a Libran, in another era she would have been a courtesan. That's when she's taking time off from incessantly playing the devils advocate, another Libran trait.
    Librans make the best generals, they spend their whole time thinking about how the other side might perceive things, very useful for strategic planning.
    They are at heart Scorpios but with colour sense.

    Reply
  9. Mainframeguy

    October 8, 2008 at 6:35 pm

    Ah memories – post punk I once had an asymetric cut died blonde one side and burgundy the other with highlights…. Quite the New Romantic post punk look… But I had this done by a hairdresser on the cutprice "do what you like, go mad deal" for student hairdresser – the student started it the the owner was enjoying the concept so much they cut in – I got real value! You could try relating the story to your daughter (but we "wouldn't understand"!). However, before that I did a similarly dumb thing – I wanted to bleacht eh anarchy symbol into my ripped denims, so I got the bleach out on the kitchen floor, but when the bristles of my brush all fell out using the bleach neat I started using my finger! It was sore for at least a week after that! Life – it's a learning experience, hey? (Don't tell her that!)… I'll get you black towels for Christmas!

    Reply
  10. migratingfishswim

    October 9, 2008 at 7:51 am

    i also have memories of great/embarrassing post-punk hairstlyes! and a pic at http://www.new.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=2779602&op=2&o=global&view=global&subj=892935293&id=892935293

    Reply

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MsMarmiteLover aka Kerstin Rodgers.

Chef, photographer, author, journalist, blogger. Pioneer of the supperclub movement.

This is my food and travel blog, with recipes, reviews and travel stories. I also stray into politics, feminism, gardening.

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Kerstin Rodgers/MsMarmiteLover
My piece in the @hamandhigh about the 3 day @heat My piece in the @hamandhigh about the  3 day @heathostile training course. Incredibly interesting & challenging. Link: https://www.hamhigh.co.uk/things-to-do/hostile-environment-training-9037980 to read more #hostileenvironmenttraining
Supper club dishes from Saturday: pickled beetroot Supper club dishes from Saturday: pickled beetroot eggs, cheeseboard, stracciatella & cucumber, tomato/strawberry/peashoot salad with real balsamic & spruce oil, home cured dill gravlax, smoked salmon, homemade sourdough crisp bread, potato salad with wild fennel & lots more! #supperclub #midsummer #eattherainbow (miss you @linnsoederstroem)
Last nights supper club. My first supper club in 2 Last nights supper club. My first supper club in 2 years was great fun. I’m pleased with my food, the guests were lovely, it looked magical in the garden. But the weather! I even had to bring my duvets from the bedroom out. They looked like refugees. But this brought even more laughter! Next event September
My first supperclub in two years will take place t My first supperclub in two years will take place this Saturday 18th June starting at 7.30pm. Tickets are £50 byo you can book here: https://msmarmitelover.com/product/midsommar-supper-club there are still a few places left. Pescetarian menu. Scandi and botanical influences. #gettingbackonmyfeet #postpandemic #smallbusinesses #supperclub #london
I recently completed the 3 day @heathostile train I recently completed the 3 day  @heathostile training course. On the last day I was kidnapped by ex-special forces for a few hours & learnt how to deal with compliance training & a hostile environment. It was one of the most interesting experiences of my life. 3 intense days of combat first aid, navigation & how to survive in a war zone. I handled short, long guns, mortars, grenades, bullets, and tourniquet & bandaged an amputee. I learnt where to sit in a car, where to hide from a bullet, where to protect myself if in a car. It was brilliant. Highly recommended for any journalists, photographers, cameramen, charity workers, paramedics going into any difficult environment say a disaster or war. The stories from the tutors & the other participants were so interesting. My piece on it out soon. Book a course: https://hostile-environment.co.uk/  They also do jungle & desert training. I’d love to join the Antarctic expedition. Anyway that’s me hooded in the front. #adventures #het #hostileenvironmenttraining #experiences #travel
Bundoran beach, Donegal. I spent a week knocking o Bundoran beach, Donegal. I spent a week knocking on doors, going to libraries, searching through graveyards for my Irish forebears. It’s really hard to find information prior to 1850. I found this in last years trip to Arbroath in Scotland. Headstones wear out, records are lost or burnt in a fire, everybody has the same name and are known by nicknames, successive children have the same first name, that usually means they died and the next one is called by the same thing. Women did have children out of wedlock, and people remarried more often than you’d think, plus families fall out & never see each other again. I learnt that my Irish great grandfather michael went to Glasgow & met a woman who came from a similar place: somewhere wild & beautiful by the sea. Then they and their children came to london. Chasing the work & the money always. Politics and economics matter for they push people around from rural to city. And now we rodgers are Londoners. #ireland #scotland #family #travel #roots
How some of us celebrate the Queen’s jubilee! My How some of us celebrate the Queen’s jubilee! My sister & a random Irishman come for the Rory Gallagher festival in ballyshannon. Sis has pulled already!  #getyourcoat #sexpistols #ballyshannon #rorygallagherfestival #ireland
Tullaghan, county Leitrim, Donegal, where my grea Tullaghan, county Leitrim, Donegal,  where my great great grandfather john Rodgers was a postman, then a tailor, then a pawnbroker. #irishheritage #donegal #myancestry #irish #rodgers #travel
I’ve taken down the previous post as it’s poor I’ve taken down the previous post as it’s poor timing considering what’s happened over the last 24 hours. Being British I’ve not grown up around guns. It’s interesting to be on this course and find out more about the reality of them, although my focus is learning the ‘golden triangle’ of first aid, communications and navigation. But at the same time It’s depressing how in America nothing will ever change regarding gun law. RIP.
Me as a punk. #pinkhair @caplanmelissa Me as a punk. #pinkhair @caplanmelissa
Sniffin’ glue: Me n @Jaybladesmbe at the Loctite Sniffin’ glue: Me n @Jaybladesmbe at the Loctite pop up yesterday. I’m all about repairing and upcycling my brocante finds: this time a beautiful pale wood lamp shade stand which had broken off at the bottom. I’m going to rewire it with 2 core sky blue twisted fabric wire, pop on my hand sewn pleated lampshade I learnt to do @workshopminerva and it shall be beautiful. Don’t chuck out your chintz: repair it! #therepairshop #selfie #interiors #popup
in June I’m having my first supper club in two y in June I’m having my first supper club in two years: here is the link to book: https://msmarmitelover.com/product/midsommar-supper-club £50 18th June  Saturday night. Byo.
#chelseaflower coming up. Last year I bought these succulents and planted them in a vintage zinc garden sieve. Now they are flowering. My balcony is like a little greenhouse: I can grow aubergines & other plants that usually need to be under glass. #londongarden #may #plants #succulents in the garden
Lemon drizzle cake. The trick is not to stint on t Lemon drizzle cake. The trick is not to stint on the citrus. I used 7: 2 Italian lemons (from Lidl):some ordinary lemons and some limes (18p) at Lidl. Don’t be afraid to mix and match your citrus. I also used buttermilk from @fenfarmdairy in Suffolk from their honesty shop. Last night we ate it still warm from the oven. #cake #lemondrizzle #homebaking #citrus #buttermilk
A Simple tomato, goats cheese and basil salad, spa A Simple tomato, goats cheese and basil salad, spanking fresh asparagus / fried in olive oil, season, then add a little boiling water, not too much, put on the lid, dressed with lemon zest & Parmesan, @fenfarmdairy baron bigod cheese, good bread. This is how I like to eat. Claire’s plates found at the beccles brocante. #suffolk #suffolkfood #supper #dinnerwithfriends  #vintageplates
Can’t wait to see what they will be like when th Can’t wait to see what they will be like when they are fired. All my favourite themes: gingham and scallops. Thanks to @clairebelljar for a wonderful weekend and pottery workshop. Such fun! #workingwithyourhands #playtime #creativity #ceramics #pottery #suffolk
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Just wrote a very personal piece for @hamandhigh o Just wrote a very personal piece for @hamandhigh on my decade as a single parent on benefits, how I learned to cook & how things are so much harder now because not only are ingredients pricier but the cost of cooking them is too. 3 budget gourmet meals serving 4, for £2.50 each. #costoflivingcrisis #budgetgourmet #povertyshame #singleparents #foodblogger
Easter Sunday. Daffodil skeletons. Easter Sunday. Daffodil skeletons.
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