• Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Snapchat
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

MsMarmiteLover

  • Food
    • Recipes
    • Vegetarian
    • Vegan
  • Travel
    • France
    • Italy
    • Spain
    • UK
  • Wine
  • Gardens
  • Supperclubs/Events
  • About
    • Published Articles
    • Books
  • Shop
    • Cart

The fastest astrologer in the West

February 1, 2010 8 Comments Filed Under: Uncategorized

When my daughter was small, I looked for part-time work from home. I did loads of jobs, anything really, but the one that lasted the longest was doing astrological charts over the phone. I was taught astrology by my mother.

I did charts for Mystic Meg, Shelley Von Strunckel, Jonathan Cainer and others. You know those numbers at the bottom of their pages in the newspaper that you ring to get a personal reading? It’s people like me that do the readings.

First of all it was hard. People had terrible problems. They don’t ask for readings when things are going well. The work was exhausting, mentally, for you have to keep them talking while you do the calculations (can’t have dead space on the phone, they’ll hang up) plus analyse their birth chart in a few seconds. It was also emotionally draining. I sought advice from the other astrologers who advised me to ‘smudge’ the area I was working from, to light candles and incense.
It was a very pressurised job. Like selling psychic double glazing.
After a while I managed to erect a mental protective barrier. There came a point when, while I was compassionate towards their problems, it didn’t get to me anymore, I didn’t take their problems home with me. I no longer lay awake at night, wondering if I had given good advice, what was happening to them, whether their boyfriend was beating them up, whether a mother’s son would get out of prison, whether this 50 year old man would ever get a job again. You can’t take it on.
I got really fast at doing charts, just like the title of this piece. I could look at the circle, the wheel, and sum it up in a few sentences. I’m not a technical astrologer. I see the map in it’s entirety, and it speaks to me. It’s a visual thing, I don’t know how to explain it. I’m what my mum would call a ‘pub astrologer’. I don’t like to get into long discussions about the science of it. I don’t want to spend energy justifying it to sceptics. But it’s a system that works. That is my experience: astrology, miraculously, just seems to work.
Generally people come to astrologers when they are experiencing Saturn transits. Saturn stays in a sign for about two and a half years. The effects are concrete, depressing, restrictive, limiting. I love Saturn transits. You always learn something from them. You always come out, having achieved something. The only thing to do during a Saturn transit is get your head down and work. Even if the ‘limitation’ is not working, being unemployed (very Saturnian), you will work on yourself, dig deep, stay still and learn your lesson.
Saturn transits have physical effects: your back hurts, your bones ache, you may need dental work, you age, you feel tired, you feel cold.
It’s easy to help people with Saturn transits. Mostly it’s a question of time. ‘In two and a half years time, or less, this bad patch will be over’ you can say.
The other reason people call up are Uranus or Pluto transits. Uranus is the divorce transit. When it hits your sun, moon or 7th house cusp, you can be fairly certain that you will be having problems with your partner. We all have something called a Uranus opposition when we are around 40. That’s often when people get divorced or quit their job.
This time the physical effect is exhilarating, speedy, a rush, like you just got electrocuted. You can’t sleep (whereas with Saturn all you want to do is sleep), you are wired. Uranus lasts a shorter time, but it’s effects are far more destructive. If you have been resisting change or staying in denial about a crap relationship, Uranus is your wake up call. There’s not much you can do. You just have to roll with it. Sometimes it’ll be your partner that has the life changing event; maybe he/she is having an affair/admitting they are gay/having an accident/throwing in the towel and saying I can’t stick the same old routine anymore. They may be happy with that. But your life is turned upside down. In this case you have to take your courage with both hands and see this as a refreshing breath of air and change yourself too. But it’s hard.
Pluto transits are slower, all pervading, transformational, psychological. It reveals death, power and sex issues. There’s nothing you can do about Pluto transits other than accept what is happening. It’s a good time to get therapy.
Mostly people ring up because of this stuff. You hone in on the issue, try to energize them with a few sentences. The fundamental service you perform as an astrologer for your client is to say ‘yes this IS happening. You are not crazy. Yes it is awful. But this too shall pass’.
That’s why I like astrology rather than any other ‘occult’ practice. It’s all in the timing. You can predict when it will start and when it will finish. I like that.
Many of the people that call don’t even know what astrology is: sometimes they say can you read my palm? Er, no not over the telephone (and I’m not a palmist). Or they ask if you can talk to their dear departed dad. No I’m not a medium either.
Being a single mum, I mostly did the phones the hours of 9 till 11pm; when my daughter had gone to bed. And of course, the callers were single mums too. The worst time for single parents is that dead zone, when the kids are asleep. It’s at that hushed time you become fully aware of being alone, the only adult in the house, the clock ticking and your umpteenth night in a row, home by yourself, just you and the fridge. Sometimes the loneliness is so frustrating and I’m not really talking sexually. You chomp at the bit when you hear people coming out of the pub or club, carousers in the street, having a good time in company. Times like this, motherhood feels like jail.
Many of my callers could not afford to call. When I was working it was £1.50p a minute and it would take at least 5 minutes to get the chart up on your computer. As the astrologer you only got 40p of this money but sometimes the customers would get angry with you. You’d take the flack for their anxiety about the cost, and their unhappiness and desperation about the situation that they were in.
When I knew it was a single mum calling from a council estate, I’d do my best to do the chart as quickly as possible. Sometimes I’d say

‘you can’t afford this. In fact I predict that if you continue to call me or others like me, you will end up broke’.

We weren’t allowed to do charts of people under 18. The funniest call was from a woman who gave me the birth data of an 8 year old.

‘I’m sorry but under the rules I cannot do this chart‘ I said.

There was a small silence.

‘Actually it’s my dog.‘ Then, pleading, ‘please do his chart, I really want to know his future’

I figured the rules didn’t apply to canines but I’d never done an animals chart before. Tentatively I started to read the chart, just as if he were human.

‘Strong Jupiter: very optimistic cheerful nature’ I said.

‘YESS!’ said his owner ‘always wagging his tail’

I managed to keep a straight face as I read the rest of the chart. The owner was very happy and said that I was “spot on” about everything.
At times you’d get the smart arses: you’d ask:

‘Date, time and place of birth?’

‘Don’t you know?‘ sneered the voice ‘call yourself a psychic?’

‘No I don’t actually, I’m an astrologer. If you don’t give me this information then we might as well terminate this call‘ I’d snap back.
In the end I did this job for about 18 months. I must have done thousands of charts.
Before computers, an astrologer would take say a week to do a chart, just the calculations. This meant they’d do a few hundred charts over a lifetime. Now I could see a person’s birth wheel in seconds.
I got burnt out. I gave up and never did astrology for money again. It felt wrong for me. I don’t criticize other astrologers who need and deserve to earn a living for a subject for which they have spent thousands of pounds (books, software, courses) to become adept. But it felt wrong for me.

Recent posts

Blueberry galette recipe

July 14, 2025

High protein recipes: roast tofu block

July 2, 2025

Sour cherry and rose ice cream recipe

June 28, 2025

Previous Post: « Burns Night part 3: whisky, cheese and address to a haggis
Next Post: The Underground Breakfast »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. fingersandtoes

    February 2, 2010 at 7:20 am

    Interesting stuff!

    Reply
  2. Sarah, Maison Cupcake

    February 2, 2010 at 10:47 am

    Found this fascinating. Especially the fact that it's all been sped up by computers and the impact of that. Never knew all this would be behind it, and that you end up acting as a counsellor. Really tragic to think of people with no money spending so much on premium rate phonecalls. I had a brief phase doing feng shui consultations and that was quite similar. I gave it up for two reasons: did a consultation on a flat I adored but it broke all the so-called rules and I didn't want her to change a thing and secondly people kept coming to me with ghosts!!!

    Reply
  3. theundergroundrestaurant

    February 2, 2010 at 4:02 pm

    Ghosts? Tell me more…

    Reply
  4. Ben Emlyn-Jones

    February 3, 2010 at 7:13 pm

    That was very insightful and interesting. I've never heard and Astrologer's Tale before (A good title for your autobiography perhaps!). I've never wondered what it was like to be someone who does readings etc on the phone. That was very poignant, ML. I should have guessed they'd be effected by emotional content of the work. I saw Helen Sewell live at a conference a few months ago and should have realized.

    Does Mystic Meg not do her own charts?… no of course she doesn't! I would think of you whenever I read The Sun from now on… except I don't read the Sun!

    Reply
  5. grandtrines

    March 14, 2010 at 4:45 am

    Really like your work (commentary). I keep tinkering with the idea of "monetizing" my work, but I know that can cause problems. Never knew the "cut" on the phone lines was SO LOW! That is a powerful dis-incentive all by itself. –GT

    Reply
  6. theundergroundrestaurant

    March 17, 2010 at 12:54 am

    Grand trines: Are you going to do your blog again? it was great.
    Yes it's not an earner really. But it was a useful stop gap when I couldn't go 'out' to work.

    Reply
  7. bakelady59

    March 23, 2010 at 4:05 pm

    I once went to see a psychic who said I had a Spirit guide called Mary who couldn't wait to see me on the 'Other side'!!! I'm 59, I can wait.
    She was supposed to have been with me since birth, a rarity she (psychic) says.

    Reply
  8. chumbles

    June 7, 2010 at 3:05 pm

    Absolutely fascinating. When I was in my late teens and early twenties I learnt to cast horoscopes with the idea that I'd get laid more often ;¬) But gradually I became interested in the art for its own sake. I stopped after I cast the horoscope of a friend of my mother's with a Uranian transit. The conclusion was that her dearly loved husband would not stay with her. I couldn't say it and I didn't want to know such things – and very sadly it came true. Shit happens, but I really don't want to know about it in advance!

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recipe Rating




Primary Sidebar

MsMarmiteLover aka Kerstin Rodgers.

Chef, photographer, author, journalist, blogger. Pioneer of the supperclub movement.

This is my food and travel blog, with recipes, reviews and travel stories. I also stray into politics, feminism, gardening.

msmarmitelover

Just had this window built by @odgjoinery and stai Just had this window built by @odgjoinery and stained glass window to match the front door by @wstoneglass beautiful work. Thank you so much. #edwardianhouse #victorianhome #stainedglass #joinery #restoration #london #kilburn
Stuffed peppers: filled with soaked fine bulgur wh Stuffed peppers: filled with soaked fine bulgur wheat, hazelnuts, sherry soaked sultanas, preserved lemon, smoky paprika, garlic, dill, coriander leaves , mint, and ground seeds, cumin,pumpkin seeds baked in the oven for 45 minutes. Serve with yoghurt. Delish! #latesummer #recipe #vegetarian #vegan #middleeasternish
My book Msmarmitelover’s secret tea party is now My book Msmarmitelover’s secret tea party is now available on @ckbk which is like Spotify for cookbooks - check it out or buy a signed copy from my website #afternoonteaparty
Next door there are 2 damson trees in the grounds Next door there are 2 damson trees in the grounds of the council flats. The ground smelled like jam. I picked a few kilos, 3 kilos after sorting through. I put them, crushed, stones included, in a clean glass container, with 1.5 kilos of sugar and 2 litres of gin ( I may add another), I’ll leave them for 3/4 weeks then filter. Damson gin for Christmas.
Fig, chocolate and chestnut tart- recipe in my boo Fig, chocolate and chestnut tart- recipe in my book Msmarmitelover’s secret tea party. This is rather adult, using bitter dark chocolate ganache, chestnut flour and figs from my garden. #figrecipes #chocolate #baking
Went for an evening of Turkish music and entertain Went for an evening of Turkish music and entertainment @kibele.london Fantastic margarita cocktails, great food, generous portions and wonderful entertainment. In the end we all got up and had a go at belly dancing, #turkishfood #london #londonnights
I’ve got Covid (day3) so not much food in the ho I’ve got Covid (day3) so not much food in the house. I found some floppy- going black- carrots in the salad drawer, so I peeled and resuscitated those. Chopped them into a saucepan with a couple of cubes of vegetable stock and a litre of hot water. Then I added a couple of tablespoons of smooth peanut butter, a clove of garlic, 1 tsp of ground cumin, half a preserved lemon. Just stuff I had around. Simmered till the carrots were soft then blended in the @vitamixuk I can honestly say the vitamix is my most regularly used bit of kitchen kit. Anyway- hey presto- a high protein soup with fibre. I hope I test negative before I totally run out of food. #solo #covid #highprotein #soup
I wrote this long read for @scotnational about the I wrote this long read for @scotnational about the anti G8 camp in Stirling to protest against the G8 in Gleneagles. I partipated in the camp & protest along with my daughter @siennamarla playing in the samba band, part of the Pink Bloc. The camp was an incredible experience- the possibility of a different type of politics, of horizontal democracy. It was also a lot of fun. But our protest was tragically overshadowed by the 7/7 bombings in London. We wanted to create a new world but by the actions of a few disaffected British Muslim terrorists our positive movement for change was drowned out by hideous violence against normal ordinary people. Here is my account. 20 years anniversary #7/7 #londonbombings #scotland #antig8 #protest #gleneagles
Cheap stuff. Since the pandemic money has been tig Cheap stuff. Since the pandemic money has been tight. I shop at Lidl and aldi for food, Vinted, Portobello and Primark for clothes. The first pic is gazpacho with a banderilla from Lidl. They often have Spanish weeks and other nationality foods at a bargain price. I love those huge cartons of gazpacho- I glug it down like juice, especially in the heat. The banderillas are sold by the jar. Second pic is me in a primark vest, cardi, with an Anthropologie sale belt and old denim shorts from 10 years ago. Sorry about the mess behind, I sold a piece of furniture, a desk I found on the street, painted enamel green with ‘bamboo’brass handles which I sold on eBay for £225 #needsmust #thrift
My tea book Msmarmitelover’s secret tea party is My tea book Msmarmitelover’s secret tea party is now out on the cookbook app @ckbk it’s now out of print but you can still buy some print copies via me or Amazon. However you can see all the recipes ( like my sour cherry icecream which I served last week) on this site which is like a Spotify for cooks. Arguably afternoon tea is a meal which the English do better than any other country. #cookbooks #afternoontea #supperclubs
Saturdays midsummer supperclub was mostly a bbq on Saturdays midsummer supperclub was mostly a bbq on the @biggreenegguk I divided the meal into fragrance families: vegetal, fougere (fern), green notes, fresh: asparagus, garden artichokes on the bbq, dolmades made from my garden vine leaves. Then citrus fragrances with yuzu, 🍊 🍋 bergamot glaze, salmon, smoked tofu steaks, vegan smoked salmon carrot. Next spice which in perfume is oriental spices: bbq mini aubergines with paprika seed oil, home ground garam masala, a tahini caper dressing. Then wood and resinous fragrances using rosemary oil brushed bbq mini peppers, pine syrup on labneh, mushrooms a la grecque with juniper, finally the floral family of fragrance with sour cherry and rose icecream, lavender shortbread  hearts and orange flower water meringue kisses. It was a lively warm evening- children were welcome. There was a bonfire, lots of wine and laughter. I buy welding gloves £12 from Amazon  to use with the bbq. I also use @pomoragoodfood oils #london
With my home grown artichokes, grown from seed for With my home grown artichokes, grown from seed for tonight’s supperclub.
Sour cherries from the garden for my midsummer sup Sour cherries from the garden for my midsummer supperclub in the garden this Saturday 21st June. Tickets available, link in bio. Also at this link: https://substack.com/redirect/5a700a44-49c1-4e6d-834f-8d4851f98f45?j=eyJ1IjoiMWUzYm4ifQ.njFJL9K8WpzSqVZ5HFSvq84gnJeUD7reFZV9LrDwYtI #midsummernightsdream #supperclub #og #sourcherry
Can’t wait to delve into this by one of my favou Can’t wait to delve into this by one of my favourite food writers @kitchenbee it’s got everything: kitchenalia, divorce and food. Did you know that what we call heartache is actually stomach ache? It’s now recognised that rejection actually causes physical as well as psychological pain. A study shows that pain relief medications such as paracetamol can alleviate heartache. Some of our emotional pain is autonomic: it’s referred to as polyvagal theory. #heartbreak #foodwriting #lovehurts #takotsubo #dopaminewithdrawal
Midsummer supper club 21st June. The theme is frag Midsummer supper club 21st June. The theme is fragrance and scent. Tickets are £45  and you can bring your own drink. Starts 7.30pm and the nearest tube is Kilburn on the jubilee. Parking is free outside. Exact address given on booking. https://msmarmitelover.com/product/midsummer-supper-club-2025-scent-and-fragrance #london #supperclub
Oil portraits of me painted at Burning Van festiva Oil portraits of me painted at Burning Van festival by artists @cristina_vercesi (left) and YouTube sensation and Royal Portrait gallery exhibiter @alex_tzavaras. It was an utter privilege to sit for these wonderful artists- a real highlight. I’m taking them home and framing them. It was easy to sit still for 90 minutes with the amazing DJ set @leonidas_lovetoparty More deets later. #portraiture #festivals #oilpainting
Went with influencers to @standrewslakes in Kent w Went with influencers to @standrewslakes in Kent with @ourfinland @lakelandfinland @pcagency to experience Finnish food such as Karelian pies with egg butter, cinnamon buns, blueberry pies, and pea soup which they have with mustard and sour cream. We did zip lining, kayaking, saunas, whipped ourselves with birch sticks, ate in a gorgeous wooden bbq shed @arctic_cabins at the end of all this activity we were all tired but happy. @miramakeup @holidaywiththeheathers @amie_jane__ @onehungryasian @iamtimchung @travellingtuesdays @helimendetravels @charlotteemilyprice #presstrip
@camille.osullivan @camilleosullivanpics and @grah @camille.osullivan @camilleosullivanpics and @grahnort @wiltonsmusichall god this woman is talented. She did a solo show of The Rape of Lucrece. Her voice! #theatre #shakespeare #london
My latest article on Hungarian cuisine, a unique m My latest article on Hungarian cuisine, a unique meeting of east and west, for @ckbk It's a blend of Ottoman, Eastern and middle European, Austro-Hungarian empire and cowboy food. #food&travel #foodanthropology #hungary
Made Fermented Cucumber dill pickles from @nickvad Made Fermented Cucumber dill pickles from @nickvadasz book The Pickle Jar. At @katzsdeli in New York they sell half sours and full sours. I reckon these are 3/4 sour. The white mould is fine btw. These are delicious #pickleperson #fermentation #guthealthy
Follow on Instagram

Archives

Copyright © 2025 msmarmitelover