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My bloody Valentines

February 15, 2012 17 Comments Filed Under: Food, Recipes, Uncategorized

Are food bloggers big fat fibbers? Hell, while we on the subject, why stick to food bloggers…are cookery book writers, photographers and stylists liars?
Ever had the experience of finding a great recipe in a book, in a magazine or on a blog, going out, buying all the ingredients then gearing yourself up to make it? And… it doesn’t work out. That gorgeous cake turns out to be a messy half risen blob.
When I was writing my cookbook, I was chatting to some professional restaurant chefs about it, who rather shocked me when they said “Oh it doesn’t matter if the recipe doesn’t work, the home cook will blame themselves”. And we do.
You never know do you? Is it your crappy skills in the kitchen? Was when you replaced their gourmet ingredient with something maybe a little more available (ie at Tesco metro on the way home from work) and a little less expensive? Or….did the recipe never really work except in the author’s head and in the photographer’s software?
Yesterday I’d prepared for my readers a Valentine’s post, pretty and topical, about white chocolate covered raspberry ganache flavoured lollies. Mmm, sounds good huh?
I amassed the ingredients, even the specialist chocolate transfer sheet, and got to work. Result: an icky unworkable mess. However, with skillful photography, nice lighting and a little fudging, I could have presented you with ta da! …this:

Ok granted it’s not quite as good as this:

… the original shot from the Valrhona cookbook. My chocolate transfer technique could use a little work but hey not too far off.
But the reality was more like this:

 While the above elegant valentines pictures…actually turned out to be…
 …more like this: impossible to turn out of their moulds, melting within minutes, and ending up coagulating into the coating chocolate. The freestyle chocolate truffle balls as suggested by the book didn’t work either. The ganache simply unfroze too quickly. 

I dunno. Was it me? 

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Comments

  1. The Beach Hut Cook

    February 15, 2012 at 3:12 pm

    I have cooked recipes to the letter in some cookbooks and they absolutely didn't work. I always thought it was me – never questioned it. Perhaps I'm not that bad a cook after all! Love your work though x

    Reply
  2. Anonymous

    February 15, 2012 at 3:17 pm

    What a disappointing and costly scenario.
    In reply to your first question, in a depressing number of cases, I think the answer is yes.
    Years ago I used to buy cookery books on a whim. Now I try to find at least a couple of recipes on the interwebs to try for this very reason.
    I would never blame myself if I had followed a recipe and it didn't work.
    Also I would never buy a book where it is clear that the pictures don't correctly represent the recipe.

    Reply
  3. Hazel Paterson

    February 15, 2012 at 3:17 pm

    Its true, if I follow a recipe exactly and it doesn't work I will assume the fault lies with me or my oven/equipment. However I always worry that when someone tries one of my tried and tested recipes and substitutes an ingredient/skimps on a technique that they will blame my recipe! Must stop with the self blame 🙂

    Reply
  4. Anonymous

    February 15, 2012 at 3:20 pm

    Happens to the best of us: http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/wordofmouth/2011/sep/19/cookbook-errors-recipes-for-disaster

    Reply
  5. Dom at Belleau Kitchen

    February 15, 2012 at 4:55 pm

    ALL the time… thank GOD for photoshop!

    Reply
  6. Anonymous

    February 15, 2012 at 9:16 pm

    Yes, some just don't work – or there is some quirk in the difference between one ingredient and an obvious substitution that breaks the whole thing. Recipes are often annoyingly imprecise about which bits *really* matter, and which you can be a bit more flexible with.
    I've heard it said that magazine recipes are better tested than those in books – because the author tests them, the test kitchen will try them and then the food stylist makes them too. Book publishers don't often test the recipes, apparently.
    By the way, I find those silicon moulds impossible to use with anything frozen – even ice-cubes. Everything sticks to them when they are cold.

    Reply
  7. The Curious Cat

    February 15, 2012 at 9:27 pm

    Guess we all have our bad days! I have tried some recipes in cookbooks that I know I cooked alright and they were downright awful so…I don't always trust…xxx

    Reply
  8. theundergroundrestaurant

    February 15, 2012 at 11:55 pm

    Using mainly spoons: yes most of the food magazines seem to test thoroughly. I retested or had a friend retest all of the recipes in my book so hopefully they all work.
    I agree, the recipes don't tell you what's essential to be accurate about…

    Reply
  9. Kate@whatkatebaked

    February 16, 2012 at 8:40 am

    Great post!! And couldn't agree more!

    Reply
  10. Catherine

    February 16, 2012 at 9:33 am

    I say this with a degree of trepidation, as my own book will be out and under similar scrutiny later this year, but I really hate the attitude that it doesn't matter if recipes don't work.

    It does matter. I think if you are writing a recipe book you have a responsibility to do your utmost to make sure they do work – because if you don't, not only are people wasting food, time, money, but it can put them off cooking and baking altogether. I recently reviewed a certain baking book which had recipes in it which didn't work – a few weeks later I was talking to a mother whose 16 year old son had bought the same cookbook and had tried the same recipe I had tested (and had got other people to test) and he was so despondent, he almost gave up. She was furious.

    These days, food is expensive and many people don't cook. Providing recipes that don't work is, or simply neglecting to test adequately is irresponsible and just one more nail in the coffin for cooking from scratch.

    Reply
  11. Rachel

    February 16, 2012 at 11:41 am

    I agree entirely with Catherine. It's refreshing to read about complete balls ups. Reminds me that the authors are human!

    I wrote, with much joy, about the chutney disasters I experienced last year—wrote off two of my pans. At least I was warning readers about the perils of chutney making!

    Thanks for yet another great post x

    Reply
  12. theundergroundrestaurant

    February 16, 2012 at 11:52 am

    Catherine: yes it's a dread of mine, being told that your recipes don't work. It is a responsibility. You still up for our Caribbean night? We will both be put to the test 🙂

    Rachel: just discovered your blog…a great read! I don't know how I didn't come across it before.

    Reply
  13. Ann

    February 17, 2012 at 12:27 pm

    It's not just recipes, I often wonder if anyone has actually made something from some of the craft/knitting/crochet patterns I buy. I am experienced enough now to know when it is not my fault.

    Reply
  14. fallen from flavour

    February 19, 2012 at 3:10 am

    just the other day i began having doubts about my kitchen prowess, after producing a platinum award-winning cake wreck.

    despite following the recipe down to the very last gram, my chantenay carrot cake was a total disaster; it looked horrible and tasted even worse. your post is a refreshing reminder that cook is not always to blame.

    just as fashion stylists pinch the back of the garment on the mannequin with a peg to get a snug fit, cookery books and food photographers indeed have a lot to answer for!

    Reply
  15. GlenH

    February 19, 2012 at 3:27 am

    Some stuff is just not tested properly now. Quite often older books from the 60s and 70s are much more reliable, especially for more fiddly stuff like cakes and deserts. However the illustrations are not what you would want to emulate….http://www.flickr.com/groups/789063@N20/

    Reply
  16. Sally - My Custard Pie

    February 22, 2012 at 1:35 pm

    If space if a premium, some of the instructions are edited out. This often removes a critical bit of info. It's such a waste when things don't work out though.
    I do appreciate when people share the bad stuff as well as the good online though – some blogs are just so perfect (and life's not like that!)

    Reply
  17. @carolinesweetie

    February 22, 2012 at 8:31 pm

    This is probably a common occurrence amongst people who buy cookery or baking books. I have one or two books now where I have tried at least 6-8 recipes that have all failed. I would say that in my early days of baking I would have blamed myself. Nowadays I have all the kit and over thermometer and all but still they fail so I know it's not me. This is annoying on several levels, the cost of the books being only one of these. Moreso the disappointment having baked the dish from the 'celeb' book only to end up with something you don't want to eat or share. A waste of time, ingredients and energy. Foolishly for the chefs, I just won't further books they produce so in the long term they lose out.

    Reply

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MsMarmiteLover aka Kerstin Rodgers.

Chef, photographer, author, journalist, blogger. Pioneer of the supperclub movement.

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Kerstin Rodgers/MsMarmiteLover
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Tonka bean galette des rois

Serves 8
Ingredients
* 140 g caster sugar
* 125 g salted butter, softened
* 100 g ground almonds
* 2 eggs, medium
* 1 tonka bean, grated
* 2 packs ready made butter puff pastry on a roll
* 1 yolk for brushing the pastry
Instructions
* Preheat your oven to 200c.

* Blend the butter with the sugar then add the almonds. Make sure it’s well mixed. Add in the 2 eggs one at a time, then add the tonka bean.

* If using a block: divide the puff pastry into two and roll out to 5mm thick. 
* Make two circles about 15 cm’s each in diameter. Lay one circle on a silicone mat/parchment paper on a baking tray and fill with the almond cream leaving a 3 cm border around the edge. 
* Paint the border with the egg yolk. Then lay the other circle on top, sealing the edges with a fork. 
* You could then carve designs into the top. Make a little slit in the middle to let steam escape then brush the top with the egg yolk
Mapo tofu is probably my favourite Sichuan dish. T Mapo tofu is probably my favourite Sichuan dish. This is a vegan version. ***

Ingredients:
- 400 g box of soft tofu not silken
- 5 soaked dried shiitake mushrooms, diced, keep water
- 1 red bell pepper, finely sliced
- 400 g fresh shiitake mushroom, sliced thinly
- 400 ml vegetable stock
- 1 thumb fresh ginger, minced
- 3 cloves garlic, crushed
- 4 tbsps groundnut or vegetable oil
- 3 tbsp fermented bean paste
- 1 or 2 small red chillies, minced or a spoonful of Chinese chilli paste
- 1 tsp heaped sichuan peppercorns, finely ground
- 2 tbsps soy or tamari sauce
- 2 tbsp cornflour in 3 tbsps water, mixed into a slurry
- 4 spring onions, finely sliced
- large pinch fresh coriander leaves

Prepare the tofu by cutting it into one inch cubes and soaking it in hot but not boiling salted water. Drain after 15 minutes.
Soak the dried shiitake mushrooms, covering them in boiling water. Leave until soft, then dice the mushrooms. Retain the mushroom soaking water and add to the vegetable stock water.
Prepare the other ingredients so they are ready to stir-fry: red bell pepper, fresh mushrooms, ginger, garlic.

Using a wok or deep frying pan, add the oil and heat to frying temperature. Add the bell peppers,fry for a couple of minutes, then add fermented bean paste, chilli paste or chillies, ginger, garlic, soy sauce, sichuan pepper.
Add the mushroom/vegetable broth and simmer on high for a couple of minutes.
Carefully add the cubes of tofu, taking care not to break them too much.
Add the cornflour slurry, stirring for a couple of minutes.
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