After a particularly depressing week, my sister took me to see Guys and Dolls the musical.
Why has it been horrible? I was sacked from my regular monthly column at the Hampstead and Highgate Express. This is/was one of the most prestigious and historic regional/local papers in the UK. It has an educated and prosperous readership. It’s even been mentioned in movies such as ‘Hampstead’ with Diane Keaton.
I’ve been working there for seven years. It paid very badly, £130 for 750 words, at least two recipes and photos and I’ve never had a raise, despite asking. I always went above and beyond, spending hours testing recipes, taking professional food photos or travelling, researching new ingredients and food stories. I often spent more on ingredients and travel than I earnt. Furthermore they syndicated it to several other outlets and papers without paying me extra. In all that time I never once met with my direct editor Bridget, despite having requested it several times. Being freelance is very lonely, but I rarely got any feedback from her. She hasn’t been in touch either regarding being let go.
A year ago the Ham and High, owned by Archant, was taken over by Newsquest media. I didn’t even know that there was a new editor, for as freelancers, we are lower than a snake’s belly and so we were never informed.
But on Thursday I found out they did in fact have an editor. He emailed me to say a simultaneous hello and goodbye by sacking me. He’s a young man, not from London, and he ‘edits’ something like 23 papers. Which in my opinion is not really possible. The paper is now full of clickbait, written by very young digital reporters with great headlines and little of substance in the article. The travel and restaurant reviews are now obviously perks reserved for staff, and they read as such.
I’m from North London. I went to school here. I’ve been involved in community projects for decades. I brought my daughter up here. I started a whole food movement, supper clubs, from my Kilburn living room. For the Ham and High, I’ve written about the refugee kitchen at Calais, the cost of living crisis budget recipes, truffles in Italy, sun dried tomato paste in Sicily, supper clubs in Bombay, a Jewish bakery in East Finchley, new delivery food businesses during the pandemic, my voluntary food parcels for the NHS and the government food boxes during the same period, seaweed foraging in the Outer Hebrides. I not only wrote recipes, I reported on food movements, especially around this locality. Many cookbook authors hail from North London. I interviewed them, Felicity Cloake, Niki Segnit, amongst many others, on their doorstep.
I’m also digital first. I started as a blogger and have always been uber present on social media. For the first five years, much to my frustration, my column was rarely posted online. I’ve been trying to get them to be more digital, as it was obviously the future. Newsquest has possibly done that. But it’s the lowest common denominator kind of digital. And my reward is that they’ve decided to get rid of me. They say for budgetary reasons. I find it hard to believe that my paltry £130 wasn’t a total bargain.
It’s hurtful, upsetting, and I feel I’ve been treated very shabbily- like a non-person. I feel devastated. It’s just so hard to make a living. I’ve been writing, photographing and cooking for decades and yet I never seem to get any further. Of course it makes me feel like I’m just crap at what I do.
Two weeks ago I had major surgery, a matter that for the moment I haven’t had the courage to write about. Maybe I will in the future. So this came when I was at a particularly low ebb. So I’ve had several duvet days, crying and basically feeling like I don’t have a friend in the world or a future.
My sister took me to see the musical Guys and Dolls. I recommend it highly. It’s what theatre is supposed to do – to entertain, to take you out of yourself. Director Nicholas Hytner has merged traditional musical theatre with the more current trend of immersive theatre. You can get a promenading ticket, which means you stand next to the stage at the bottom and sometimes interact with the musical. (My sister and I spent the first half seated then went down to the box office and changed for a promenade ticket for the second half, a good compromise).
Inspired by Damon Runyan, whose complete works I have read, the script is witty and of course, entirely in the present tense, which lends a particular cadence to the dialogue.
Sis and I dressed up 1940s/50s style. The set, designed by Bunny Christie, is bright and colourful with neon signs, representing a steamy Broadway in New York. Parts of the stage rise up and down, with the interactive audience moved around by ushers dressed as cops. Actors suck on vapes with smoke, a lovely realistic touch from the post-war era when smoking cigarettes was still new and cool.
The dancing and singing is spectacular and joyful. The men in spats, hats, braces and pin-striped trousers, displayed the kind of macho balletic physicality one saw in West Side Story. The girl dancers, a little reminiscent of the Kit Kat club dancers in Cabaret, with Bob Fosse influenced choreography devised by Arlene Phillips, were not, thank god, all skinny dancer waifs, but diverse, sexy and skilful.
The songs are great- you probably know them from the movie version with Frank Sinatra and Marlon Brando. If not, check it out, I’m certainly going to rewatch it.
On stage you get to hear classics such as Luck be a Lady, Sue me, Adelaide’s Lament (‘a person can develop a cold’) sung live. Everybody was good; Sky Masterson, Harry the Horse, Nathan Detroit (played by an unusually cast Daniel Mays), Miss Adelaide (particularly touching), Miss Sarah Brown. The musical highlight comes when Voice semi-finalist Cedric Neal playing Nicely-Nicely Johnson (when greeted and asked how he’s doing he always replies ‘nicely, nicely’) gives a virtuoso rousing performance of ‘Sit down you’re rocking the boat’ inspiring several encores. At the end the cast danced with spectators on the stage which had sunk down to audience level.
In these dark times, it’s just what we need. Get there early, there are drinks and snacks, maybe order a dulce de leche cocktail, but don’t take nuts. One of the cast is allergic so they search bags and incredibly, there were confiscated jars of peanut butter at security, I mean, who takes peanut butter to the theatre?
It’s on till January 2024. Guys and Dolls, Bridge Theatre (near Tower Bridge). Tickets here.
So sorry to hear this Kerstin. What an awful, impersonal experience it must have been working for them and then just an email after 7 years! No wonder local newspapers are in such trouble.
Thanks Kate for commenting. I work for another Newsquest publication, the National in Scotland and my experience there couldn’t be more different. The editor responds quickly to pitches, is encouraging, and they pay better (not great but better).
Hi Kerstin, I am very sorry to hear about the Ham & High letting you go, and agree with you about how trashy the paper has become. Just wanted to let you know that I love your blogs and the detail you go into into your articles. I too ran a supper club (many years ago – on the admin side – someone else always did the cooking!) and have worked with several aspiring cooks and chefs in my local patch (Crouch End and Muswell Hill),. I know that it is unbelievably hard to get beyond a certain level without incredible good fortune, and some unexpected luck bomb appearing – you just have to be able to recognise it when it arrives. You have to keep plugging away and doing what you know is right for yourself. And I wish you a speedy recovery from your surgery and hope your good luck bomb lands soon.
Thanks Toni. Praying for that luck bomb! x
So sorry to hear about your experiences. That’s really awful. I read your columns regularly and really enjoy the breadth of outlook and interesting things you discover and let us know about. No advice to offer but just wanted to say you’re doing a great job and SOMEBODY needs to recognise that and employ you!
Thanks so much Gill. I really appreciate you making the effort to comment. As I said, it’s lonely out here as a freelancer.
Oh Kerstin, I am so sorry for the way you have been treated and unappreciated which makes to the aggro and stress of having to find an alternative way to make a living. And having to undergo major surgery at the same time sounds like punishment from karmaland – what a terrible ‘coincidence’ time wise. Your blogs are amazing, I so enjoy reading them and there is so much to discover and/or consider – so please keep writing! My sister used to live in North London and she still misses it. If ever you should come to Rome, drop me a line, okay?
Thanks so much Josephine. Yes it is terrible timing. But as a follower of serious astrology, Pluto is on my zero degree sun in Aquarius, so I guess it’s time for a change of life. I definitely will drop you a line. x
Female freelancer flung over …. Sadly being a woman in the world is not that easy. Young men appears to run the world. I guess they (but only they) think that everyone immediately goes to social media for their food interest. Food writing in newspapers is not writing puff pieces. I hope you have made your case about the journalism in your and other food writers’ work.
He doesn’t seem to know about his target market and the history of the Ham & High.
Soooo annoyed for you! Grr!
It really isn’t. Youth rules the world. Women before children and men always especially when young. I demanded a phone call with him and said you should be giving me more work, not less. I have so many ideas. Yes he doesn’t know this area at all it seems. Ham and High readers won’t be impressed by clickbait.
thanks Carolyn
I’m interested that you mention I’m female. Do you think females tend to be first for the chop when they are downsizing?
So sorry to hear this Kerstin. There seems to be a trend of papers cutting back on life-style columns – such as cookery and gardening. This suggests a fundamental lack of understanding regarding why people buy weekly papers: it isn’t for the news!!
Yes. You are so right. The news is more quickly gained from Twitter. The ham and high has no in depth analysis of the news, which is the only reason anyone would want to read the news in a newspaper. And North Londoners are interested in cookery and gardening, not why a girl thought a restaurant was ‘to die for’.(cliche alert)
Your content is far too high quality to be associated with the type of site that this has become. You are worth so much more. It’s incredible that you were paid so little for the amount of work you put in plus your inimitable CV and experience. I always stop to read your blog articles when the email arrives because they are so informative, entertaining and of such high quality. There must be a huge audience like me out there and a conduit/platform/media that would reward you. I know it’s easy to say this but I’m sure that something will happen for the better (that luck bomb). Hope you recover from your medical issues soon.
Thank you Sally. I’m wondering whether to go the substack route to try and earn some money. But I’m not sure substack are searchable, that you can get evergreen traffic.
Unfortunately I’m rather too in the habit of saying what I think to have developed the kind of contacts to get in the prestigious papers. I just don’t fit in.
Kerstin, this is not going to be much comfort to you but…. you are now in a journalists’ special Hall of Fame – it’s reserved for the free-lancers (who have been a mainstay of newspapers for decades) who like you have been canned in a bid to save a few paltry quid a week. The message you have penned – which pin-points a tragic/stupid/misguided/trend should be published! But who would have the guts to put such a backward thinking spotlight on another publication. How about The Press Gazette? Worth a try. All the best….
Maybe I should contact Press Gazette. I get their emails and it’s always a great insight into what’s happening.Thanks Maggie.
Dear Kerstin,
I came to your supper club quite a few times before the global you-know-what. I met your sister and sat next to her during a fun dinner. She is as lively and colourful as you are! I also met your lovely mother and your dashing father at another dinner.
A few words about this sacking experience. I think you are overreacting to a completely normal situation. Let me explain and soothe your mind.
Firstly, I worked at a top British newspaper for many years. I know the business inside out. From the newspaper point of view you were a stringer. Stringers are hired to fill in the gaps if their own journalists are sick, unavailable, lazy, etc. The stringers are notoriously badly paid, never invited to meet with editors and dumped over an email when they are not needed any more. This has been a standard practise in the newspaper business for decades and decades. DO NOT TAKE IT PERSONALLY.
Secondly, people will always remember the articles and who wrote them. They will not remember the editors. The editors come and go, but the journalist and their articles live on the web forever. One nil.
Thirdly, in my personal opinion you were far too good for the Ham and High. You have a unique style, you are a talented cook and a good photographer. Find a better newspaper/magazine, Kerstin!
Fourthly, have you ever thought about publishing a hybrid book about your culinary adventures based on your blog posts plus just a few recipes? The market is oversaturated with standard cookbooks, but there aren’t many that fall between travelling, lifestyle and recipes. Most cook book writers have ghost writers, but your life and writing style is lively and colourful. I know I would pick up a book by you and read about your adventures in the world – with all the swear words and sharp observations it would be a treat in these boring cancel-culture times. Julian Barnes published a small book “The Pedant in the Kitchen” and he is not even a cook. Have a look. I enjoyed it very much.
Fifthly, pick your battles and wars wisely in life. I wouldn’t escalate the situation by taking it further. I wouldn’t waste my time on a pimple-faced woke clickbait editor with a pea-size brain. I wouldn’t let anyone dent my confidence. Stand in your power, Kerstin. You have already built a business and, more than that, you have built a legacy. And that’s quite something!
I hope I propped up your confidence, Kerstin. In life one door closes, another one opens!
PS. How about a truffle supper club this autumn? May be your truffle-hunter friend on the Instagram could send some over…?
haha your message made me laugh. I’d love a book deal with travel and food but publishers only like things that can slot into one category on the shelves. Plus, I guess my heyday is over, if I had millions of followers on TikTok, they’d be keener. I think my followers actually follow my recommendations but its quantity not quality that is wanted nowadays.
I’m learning that the last thing people want are ‘sharp observations’. PRs now have absolute power on UK journalists and they censor what you say. I was almost kicked out of an Italian villa in the middle of the countryside in the middle of the night by a crazed PR and her very troubled 18 year old daughter because I’d mildly mentioned, when asked by the guest sitting next to me, if I liked my pasta. I didn’t, because it had zero flavour and for some reason they’d used gluten-free pasta. I’m not coeliac. You know Italian and French, well, most continental chefs think if you don’t eat meat you don’t like flavour, salt, oil, gluten or anything joyful to eat. Any way the PR was totally unbalanced and made all sorts of allegations. I had to plead not to be turfed out for not liking a plate of pasta. I’ve seen people behave REALLY badly on press trips and they weren’t treated like that. Naturally I won’t be writing about that aspect of the press trip: a ridiculously expensive, 20k a week villa, which wasn’t all that nice (all brown and wipe clean surfaces).
Truffle supper club: I’d love to, but you know what the hunter wouldn’t even give me one free truffle so I could create my own recipes! I loved his hunt and finding out stuff, plus the dinner though. It was the most interesting part of the trip.
Lately I do wonder how I’m going to live, how am I going to pay my bills. It’s becoming increasingly impossible. My years of learning and building up experience does not lead to work.
Have you thought about doing a foraging lunch or supper club, Kerstin? Or you could write about what delicious treat you have made out of what you have found growing wild or rescued from a skip.
I reckon that I can more or less live off what I find. Obviously, I have to buy supermarket staples such as milk, crème fraiche, butter, cooking oil … but I doubt if I spend more than about £5 a week.
Hi Joan,
I’ve done ones before. At the moment I’m not doing any supper clubs because the last one didn’t sell. The worst thing is having to do marketing. All that work and no one books.
You could be the victim of several convergent themes:
1 Covid is still with us. It hasn’t gone away. I had to think long and hard about accepting an invitation to a drinks party. It could be that people aren’t as keen to attend gatherings as they were three or four years ago.
I used to run wild food ID walks about four years ago and haven’t re-started because an event that risks things being passed around could easily turn into a super spreader event. It would only need one person in the group …
2 The cost-of-living crisis is getting worse, which means that people have less disposable income.
Yes I agree. I can’t afford to put my heating on so …
Ha! I am salivating at the thought of reading your review about what went on in Italy (obviously – sadly – you can’t write it). Attending a PR event does not automatically mean that you can’t criticise their products, food or services. You have been writing reviews for many years now and have created a reputation for being honest and fair. There are many of us who sit up and listen to your advice. Obviously these people who held the event were scared out of their minds about getting a bad review. It is just so juvenile and not how a mature person would behave. Actually, their hysterical reaction to your mild comment is quite funny.
Anyway, in terms of today’s social media it is clear that the global pandemic and all the shutdowns had also good points. There are now so many women online in their 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s and even 80s making videos and earning money from their content. The numbers are just exploding. And it doesn’t matter what the craft is. It may be needlework, fashion, beauty, make up, health, fitness, cooking, travel, photography, pet grooming etc. I even saw a successful channel by a female plasterer who is churning out videos and earning good money from them. Many women are creating a new life for themselves after children have left home. Youtube, Patreon, TikTok and Instagram are perfect tools for that. I know there is a lot of rubbish on social media, but I don’t watch it. Just ignore the idiots.
There are a few useful tips and tricks about the algorithms and how they work. They are not difficult to master. You are already tech savvy and know how to operate a camera. Plus, you already have a fan base. It is not that you would be starting from zero. Why not continue doing something you love by expanding to social media – on your own terms – while monetising the work you do? People will always gravitate towards authentic, honest and colourful voices such as yours, Kerstin. Social media would bring you a much larger audience than any newspaper ever could. Not to mention all the possible sponsorships and money through affiliate links.
I’ll send you an email in a day or two.
Well the PR emailed me on Friday to ask why I hadn’t reviewed the villa. I replied mildly that after what happened, surely it they didn’t expect a review. He shot back, I’m going to get the owners to take action against you. Then he gloated that it was them that got me sacked from the Ham and High, which I assume was the whole point of this email 4 weeks after the trip. And now they say they will contact every publication I’ve ever worked for and also every travel PR.
So the editor of the Ham and High lied. It wasn’t for budgetary reasons, it was because he got a complaint from a tiny random PR agency in Italy. Despite me working there for 7 years, he believed them and didn’t give me a right of reply.
They’ve sent me libellous emails saying I said things like ‘terrorism is beautiful’. This is entirely untrue. In fact one of the other journalists was going on about how the Israeli’s ‘deserved it’. This is not my position AT ALL. I’m disgusted by this.
I’ve asked the editor to explain why he didn’t tell me the truth, why he believed them.
I’ve never come across such vindictive, nasty people. They’ve made up a lot of lies, trying to justify the fact that they didn’t behave professionally. I spent my own money getting there, spent money on a sim and data and worked very hard.
I’m totally shocked by the behaviour of the PR company (they are tiny and in the boondocks of Italy so they don’t really know what’s going on). The woman was calling women ‘Karen’s’ which I said was ageist, sexist and suggests that the woman is racist. They were so clueless they didn’t know this.
The woman, her husband and the daughter have a serious case of last word syndrome too. They can’t let things go.
Normally if a PR trip is a disaster, you prefer NOT to have a review. Also how do you expect me to review it if you got me sacked?
I actually think they are unhinged.
Please do contact Press Gazette about your experience and treatment.
I have but I’m not sure they are interested. They’ve just run a massive interview with the CEO of Newsquest boasting about making a profit and using AI to’free up more time for our journalists’. Yeah right.