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I blame the parents…

September 2, 2008 10 Comments Filed Under: Uncategorized

Burqa sewing pattern

Earlier in this post I talked about my darling Anglo-Pakistani pupil. She just called to say that she got 2 ‘A’ grades for her GCSE’s in English Literature and English Language. She was such a delight to teach. These strict Muslim families must be doing something right. In fact I’m just about to run up a burqa on my sewing machine for my own sweet teen. 

Some hope.
Today my teenager decided to dye her hair black. She wanted to look like Helena Bonham-Carter in Fight Club (she’s already been moving towards that look with an unwashed tangly bob hairstyle and pale face/purple eye make-up, all très heroin chic).
She goes down to Superdrug and buys the black dye. Apparently they are not allowed to sell permanent hair dye to under 18’s. The shop assistant asks her age. My teenager replies: “I consider myself to be timeless.” This does the trick because the shop assistant shrugs and sells her the dye. 
My teenager then squirts some of one of the bottles in the package all over her head. She hasn’t read the instructions. She was supposed to mix two bottles together. Belatedly she mixes them together and covers her head with the stuff. She uses my white towels to do this. Yup.
She then runs up to me, screaming in panic, because while her hair is turning black so is the skin on her face and neck. 
She looks more like Helena Bonham-Carter in Planet of the Apes. 
Of course all of this is because school starts tomorrow and she wants to look cool. 

Helena Bonham-Carter in Fight Club

Helena Bonham-Carter in Planet of the Apes

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Comments

  1. corbin

    September 3, 2008 at 11:53 am

    can't stop laughing
    seen this so many times at home …
    still funny every time.
    must..control.. gales .. of .. laughter …

    Reply
  2. marmitelover@mac.com

    September 3, 2008 at 11:58 am

    I didn't really lose my temper with her over the white towels cos I remember so well doing the same thing myself when I was her age…
    I often find it hard to keep a straight face when I'm telling her off.
    This teen stage is simultaneously the most annoying and the most fun part of her development so far!

    Reply
  3. Ben Emlyn-Jones

    September 5, 2008 at 9:49 am

    I remember that! I was actually talking to someone at work yesterday, who reads my blog, and she said that remark made by your teenager about being "timeless". I told her where I'd heard that and she said: "Oh, that's where I read it too!"

    So some people who read HPANWO are following the link to Marmite-Lover and reading that too. Hope you appreciate the free publicity! 😉

    Reply
  4. marmitelover@mac.com

    September 5, 2008 at 10:44 am

    I most certainly do, Ben! Also it seems it is working vice versa. Check out Crazyegg. They do a 'heatmap' on your blog, to see where people are clicking and people are clicking on the link to your excellently researched and written blog…in the side-bar.
    This 'heatmap' enables you to design your page better.

    Reply
  5. migratingfishswim

    October 3, 2008 at 9:04 pm

    LOL, brings back memories of my own teenage hair-dyeing days.

    i've been recommend your blog by a mutual friend: the lovely, samba-playing lorraine p. and she's right, it's most enjoyable

    Reply
  6. marmitelover@mac.com

    October 4, 2008 at 6:29 pm

    Ah thank you migratingfishswim…you aren't a Pisces by any chance?

    The lovely Lorraine can flirt for Britain…I do think they should bring it in as an Olympic sport actually!

    Reply
  7. migratingfishswim

    October 6, 2008 at 8:05 am

    LOL, no another watery sign, cancer.

    i had no idea lorraine was so good at flirting, i know her thru work, so don't get to see that side of her 🙂

    Reply
  8. marmitelover@mac.com

    October 6, 2008 at 8:49 am

    The lovely Lorraine is of course a Libran, in another era she would have been a courtesan. That's when she's taking time off from incessantly playing the devils advocate, another Libran trait.
    Librans make the best generals, they spend their whole time thinking about how the other side might perceive things, very useful for strategic planning.
    They are at heart Scorpios but with colour sense.

    Reply
  9. Mainframeguy

    October 8, 2008 at 6:35 pm

    Ah memories – post punk I once had an asymetric cut died blonde one side and burgundy the other with highlights…. Quite the New Romantic post punk look… But I had this done by a hairdresser on the cutprice "do what you like, go mad deal" for student hairdresser – the student started it the the owner was enjoying the concept so much they cut in – I got real value! You could try relating the story to your daughter (but we "wouldn't understand"!). However, before that I did a similarly dumb thing – I wanted to bleacht eh anarchy symbol into my ripped denims, so I got the bleach out on the kitchen floor, but when the bristles of my brush all fell out using the bleach neat I started using my finger! It was sore for at least a week after that! Life – it's a learning experience, hey? (Don't tell her that!)… I'll get you black towels for Christmas!

    Reply
  10. migratingfishswim

    October 9, 2008 at 7:51 am

    i also have memories of great/embarrassing post-punk hairstlyes! and a pic at http://www.new.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=2779602&op=2&o=global&view=global&subj=892935293&id=892935293

    Reply

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MsMarmiteLover aka Kerstin Rodgers.

Chef, photographer, author, journalist, blogger. Pioneer of the supperclub movement.

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My next supper club 17th June london tickets £50 My next supper club 17th June london tickets £50 BYO book here: https://msmarmitelover.com/product/midsummer-supper-club-tickets-june-17th #london #supperclub #msmarmitelover #midsummer
For tonight’s event I had to push the boundaries For tonight’s event I had to push the boundaries. Here is how to prepare goose neck barnacles or percebes which are a very expensive and rare delicacy, hunted down from cliffs. It’s quite dangerous to forage them. #canapes #eventcatering #satanicfood #percebes #grossfood #seafood #devilsfood
Midsummer supperclub 17th June book tickets here h Midsummer supperclub 17th June book tickets here https://msmarmitelover.com/product/midsummer-supper-club-tickets-june-17th at London’s pioneering supper club. Tickets £50 BYO. Scandinavian inspired summery food. #supperclub #msmarmitelover #midsummer #northwestlondon #londonevents #popups
Tina sweating through a gig at Brixton academy cir Tina sweating through a gig at Brixton academy circa 1987 pic: kerstin Rodgers #rip #tinaturner #rockphotographer #kerstinrodgers #teenagephotographer
Attended an incredible talk with @frenchpete_1 on Attended an incredible talk with @frenchpete_1 on war photography in the Ukraine . Go to the exhibition @thebppa @thebargehouse in SE1 last few days 
Had to stop filming cos I was told off. The photographers would be less forthcoming if they were filmed I was told. 
Anyway @frenchpete_1 should be followed by a camera crew cos he’s a star.
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My terrace on a sunny May morning. The builders @l My terrace on a sunny May morning. The builders @lk.general.building left yesterday. They’ve been working since January. I had the awning installed, the encaustic Minton tiles removed and put back with green grout. The terrace was causing damp so this had to be done. My calamondin plant is looking lovely. The benches which I repaired with hard wood & I repainted using a mix of 2 colours. The marble table I bought in Suffolk at a car boot. Everything is still dusty & I’m waiting for the window cleaner to arrive.
Last but very heartfelt thankyou to @cideriswine f Last but very heartfelt thankyou to @cideriswine for their contribution of these beautiful dry ciders for the coronation street lunch. Gorgeously illustrated labels. #stcuthbertsrd #kilburn #london #cider #artisanaldrinks
When it comes to vodka I much prefer potato vodka. When it comes to vodka I much prefer potato vodka. It’s smoother. Artisanal distillery @devoncovevodka contributed some bottles to my coronation lunch which gave everyone a feeling of being at a classy party. Thanks so much. And also @rawfoodanddrink for arranging. If you want to read my blog post about how and why I organised this event, copy and paste this link: https://t.co/GWNNW2XKba #coronationstreetparty #biglunch #community #kilburn #london #forthepeoplebythepeople
I’ve been a fan of @luscombedrinks for years now I’ve been a fan of @luscombedrinks for years now. They sent a selection: elderflower bubbly, st. Clements orange 🍊 Sicilian lemonade, @belvoirfarm_uk lemonade, which were all delicious and just the tickets for the fortuitous mini-heatwave that occurred on the Sunday coronation lunch. #thankyou #community #coronation #streetparty #biglunch
Our street party. Double page spread in The Sun! T Our street party. Double page spread in The Sun! Tiny bit in the guardian. Decent pic in the Mail and The Star credit @asproider #coronationlunch #kilburn #stcuthbertsrd #kingscroftrd #fordwychrd #templarhouse
My coronation quiche with Broad beans, tarragon, s My coronation quiche with Broad beans, tarragon, spinach, cheddar. I used crème fraiche and blind baked puff pastry shells. I was up at 11 last night making these for todays street party, which featured in the mail, telegraph, mirror, metro courtesy of photographer Gavin Rodgers @asproider
Seaweed foraging at Spring tides in the Outer Hebr Seaweed foraging at Spring tides in the Outer Hebrides with @outerhebrideanforager Fi bird. She’s cutting sea spaghetti. I drove my campervan @camperdays.international from london to the Hebrides- using my gas stove to cook foraged and local ingredients. A real food safari. With the sea spaghetti I made a sea spag vongole with giant parlourdes picked up from the sand at the same time. Great fun, beautiful weather and, the day of the full moon, a wonderfully low tide. This was on south Uist.
More flavours, the flavour thesaurus is a plant-ba More flavours, the flavour thesaurus is a plant-based version of the original. Beautifully constructed, designed and written by @nikisegnit it’s vegetarian rather than vegan but recommended for both. She widens the sensory vocabulary around plant flavours in this book- encouraging new delicious sounding combinations. Now she includes new categories such as flower & meadow, caramel roasted, zesty roost- just the words make me salivate. #foodbooks #bookstagram #newbooks
Yesterday I attended @marmaladeawards @dalemainman Yesterday I attended @marmaladeawards @dalemainmansion I found out so much about marmalade. I’m going to make it this winter. I found out the worlds best maker is Japanese, in fact I was most impressed by the Japanese marmalades in general. Everyone wore orange. I must have tasted 50 marmalades. I met Paddington’s sister, karen jankel who is michael bond’s daughter, born in the same year as Paddington. She gave a charming talk on Paddington, mentioning how the queen insisted on having real marmalade sandwiches in her @launerlondonofficial handbag during the shoot. The house itself is Tudor and Georgian. I stayed in my campervan from @camperdays.international in the car park, cosy in the rain. Another freewheeling adventure. #yorkshire #marmalade #travel #food #ontheroad #campervan
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