Her son was freaking out “Will we get done for this? He’s been drinking.”
“Huh, what a light weight!”
“I’d collapse if I drunk that much vodka” I told her.
“Really, it can kill you.”
“Is this the maddest thing we have ever done?” I ask her.
“Well there was the time that we were both vicars at Glastonbury and married people.” she said.
“And the time when we did a stand up routine on food and astrology in a Camden town restaurant…” I added.
“But this is the maddest… yeah” she says
In the middle of plating up the mains, a woman spilt red wine all over her white crocheted cardigan. My sister wanted to stop everything “Where’s a bucket?” and help the woman.
“STOP IT” I hiss “Fuck her cardigan I don’t want people’s food to go cold”
“Bad news, I could only get the Somerfield version” she says.
Hahaha, I thought you two look conspiratorial when she ‘popped out to the shop’!!
I told a work colleague about your restaurant, and she started spouting something about hygiene laws. Pah, I trust your hygiene standards SIGNIFICANTLY more than any registered and certified restaurant. And I know for certain that you won’t put chicken stock in my soup.
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Well I do have a good hygiene certificate plus having worked in kitchens I know that my place is definitely up to scratch.
Except I do not use plastic chopping boards. I only use wood. I try always to use natural materials that can breath and heal.
I think plastic chopping boards are unhygienic.
I spend all week making fresh vegetable stock Ms C.
Well even if you didn’t have a certificate I would trust you – I know that you know what you’re doing. 🙂
I agree on natural materials, wood is naturally antiseptic anyway. And even if it supports life, it will probably have harmless bacteria living in it, leaving little space for any nasties.
I am from the ‘let children play with mud, it’s good for their immune system’ approach, rather than the ‘douse everything with dettol and scrub it with bleach’ school of thought. Not that I think you’re serving us mud pies…
X
Great stuff! Sounds like a great laugh what you are doing! So what happened to the dreadful cardie in the end? And tell us more about the vicars and Glastonbury stuff. I’m so glad you didn’t offer them one of the Somerfield mousses!
Would love to see the pics you mentioned of your street food experiences. Some of the best stuff I’ve eaten’s been bought from side street vendors. How about a street food theme night for your underground restaurant? I’d go, especially if it was Mexican, or Indian for that matter!
All the best,
Lennie
Hahahaha who knew all that was going on in the kitchen! I wonder whether I got the ‘special’ somerfield mousse? It tasted awesome either way – as did everything else and thanks for letting us smoke out the back.
Nobody got the special Somerfield mousse…I think you would most certainly have noticed!
Lennie, Yes I am going to do an Indian night and a Mexican night!
What’s on the menu this week?? And is it going to be Mail readers instead of Guardian readers now?!
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