Her son was freaking out “Will we get done for this? He’s been drinking.”
“Huh, what a light weight!”
“I’d collapse if I drunk that much vodka” I told her.
“Really, it can kill you.”
“Is this the maddest thing we have ever done?” I ask her.
“Well there was the time that we were both vicars at Glastonbury and married people.” she said.
“And the time when we did a stand up routine on food and astrology in a Camden town restaurant…” I added.
“But this is the maddest… yeah” she says
In the middle of plating up the mains, a woman spilt red wine all over her white crocheted cardigan. My sister wanted to stop everything “Where’s a bucket?” and help the woman.
“STOP IT” I hiss “Fuck her cardigan I don’t want people’s food to go cold”
“Bad news, I could only get the Somerfield version” she says.