• Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Snapchat
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

MsMarmiteLover

  • Food
    • Recipes
    • Vegetarian
    • Vegan
  • Travel
    • France
    • Italy
    • Spain
    • UK
  • Wine
  • Gardens
  • Supperclubs/Events
  • About
    • Press
    • Books
  • Shop
    • Cart

Cussin

November 30, 2009 7 Comments Filed Under: Uncategorized

In the bathroom. My daughter was putting on foundation in the mirror. Her skin is perfect.

“Why do you wear foundation?” I asked. “At your age?”

“Because I’ve got skin like an old woman” she said “everybody teases me about it at school. I’ve got those things…that old men get when they drink …”

“Thread veins?”

“Yeah, that. I’ve got tons of blemishes and I have to cover them up”

I looked at my face in the mirror. I had crinkly bags under my eyes. I pushed at my skin, it doesn’t spring back into place as it would have a few years ago. Even a year ago.
I seemed to have aged enormously since starting The Underground Restaurant. In fact I haven’t properly looked at myself for a while, being so busy. I’ve neglected any ‘beauty routine’.
Next to me was my teen…her perfect heart shaped face…

I sit on the toilet and sigh: “So apart from your weight, your height, the little bump on your eyelid and your old ladies’ skin…what else do people at school criticize about you? It seems, according to them, you are absolutely hideous”

“Look that’s how it is. Everybody cusses everybody else.” my daughter says patiently as if speaking to a retard.

“Do you?”

“Yeah. ‘Course. Probably.”

“You slag off other people’s looks?”

“Well my friends and especially S.”

“Why S?“

S. is particularly beautiful, tall and slim with almond-shaped eyes and great hair. She’s been spotted by model agencies.

“Everybody has a go at S” snorts my teen “because she’s so perfect”.

“Does she get upset?”

“Yes, sometimes she cries”

“So you are all making each other feel bad? I mean you come home and cry too” I state.

My teen shrugs.
Cussing, that is, the art of putting each other down, does seem to be worse than it was in my youth. I wonder if it comes from ‘freestyle rap battles’. It must be hard, though, for teenagers to build up any self-esteem when every imperfection is ruthlessly targeted. Or does it toughen them up?

Recent posts

Book for my first supper club since the pandemic: Midsummer

May 19, 2022

caponata budget gourmet recipe pic: Kerstin Rodgers

Two delicious budget recipes for the cost of living crisis

May 13, 2022

budget gourmet recipes pic Kerstin Rodgers

Cost of living crisis: three gourmet dinner party recipes that serve 4, for around £2.50

May 6, 2022

Previous Post: « Goodbye to Berlin
Next Post: Tsunami of umami/breast is best »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. bakelady59

    November 30, 2009 at 12:12 pm

    Just how can we get our teens, (mine not so teen any more)to see how beautiful they really are. Mine often catches my eyes looking at her and immediately thinks I'm critiquing her appearence, when really I'm seeing how beautiful she is and want to drink in the vision of loveliness that I carried for 9 months, and bore all those years ago.

    Reply
  2. Erica, Allium, Fairford

    November 30, 2009 at 2:51 pm

    Pre-teens are at it too!
    My 10 year old is more worried about what her "friends" think of her than her own happiness!

    Reply
  3. Sarah, Maison Cupcake

    November 30, 2009 at 3:30 pm

    I'm no great looker but I don't really remember it being this bad when I was teenager. Most of stuff aimed at me was about me wearing glasses. Having said that, I do think it's different now and when I notice all the Barbie Bratz rubbish advertised on tv it seems there's a huge market to teach our little girls to aspire to WAGs and porn stars which is very sad.

    Reply
  4. Kitchen Butterfly

    December 6, 2009 at 8:36 pm

    I'll be honest with you, I don't think it toughens them at all. We women tend to grow up with serious self esteem issues…and I figure it starts way back.

    Anyhow, I applaud you…100 times for step-by-step illustrating what's going on.

    Sometimes, I feel so bad for teenagers, knowing that they can't see even a couple of years down the road. What happens to us at that age????

    Reply
  5. theundergroundrestaurant

    December 6, 2009 at 8:41 pm

    Thanks for your comments everyone.
    Yes I agree, women have terrible self -esteem issues. I'm no exception.
    I also wonder if it's because she goes to a mixed school, they seem so ruthless with each other.

    Reply
  6. Dan Sumption

    December 8, 2009 at 12:27 pm

    Have you seen the film Mean Girls? I strongly recommend that you watch it with your daughter.

    When my daughter got the DVD I really didn't relish the prospect of watching another Lindsay Lohan teen flick, but I actually really enjoyed the film (it's written by and stars Tina Fey, and features several other Saturday Night Live comedians) – I've watched it with my kids several times since, and enjoy it as much every time.

    Anyway, my point was that it's about exactly this type of behaviour in teenage girls. And unlike most "movies with a moral", it makes its point well and manages to be a fun watch at the same time.

    Apparently the film is based on this non-fiction book, about teenage girls' verbal bullying: http://bit.ly/5wODrV

    Reply
  7. theundergroundrestaurant

    December 8, 2009 at 12:29 pm

    Yes we have, it's spot on that movie…
    Sent you an email about my broken feeds Dan.
    How old is your daughter?

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recipe Rating




Primary Sidebar

MsMarmiteLover aka Kerstin Rodgers.

Chef, photographer, author, journalist, blogger. Pioneer of the supperclub movement.

This is my food and travel blog, with recipes, reviews and travel stories. I also stray into politics, feminism, gardening.

Subscribe to my mailing list

msmarmitelover

Kerstin Rodgers/MsMarmiteLover
Me as a punk. #pinkhair @caplanmelissa Me as a punk. #pinkhair @caplanmelissa
Sniffin’ glue: Me n @Jaybladesmbe at the Loctite Sniffin’ glue: Me n @Jaybladesmbe at the Loctite pop up yesterday. I’m all about repairing and upcycling my brocante finds: this time a beautiful pale wood lamp shade stand which had broken off at the bottom. I’m going to rewire it with 2 core sky blue twisted fabric wire, pop on my hand sewn pleated lampshade I learnt to do @workshopminerva and it shall be beautiful. Don’t chuck out your chintz: repair it! #therepairshop #selfie #interiors #popup
in June I’m having my first supper club in two y in June I’m having my first supper club in two years: here is the link to book: https://msmarmitelover.com/product/midsommar-supper-club £50 18th June  Saturday night. Byo.
#chelseaflower coming up. Last year I bought these succulents and planted them in a vintage zinc garden sieve. Now they are flowering. My balcony is like a little greenhouse: I can grow aubergines & other plants that usually need to be under glass. #londongarden #may #plants #succulents in the garden
Lemon drizzle cake. The trick is not to stint on t Lemon drizzle cake. The trick is not to stint on the citrus. I used 7: 2 Italian lemons (from Lidl):some ordinary lemons and some limes (18p) at Lidl. Don’t be afraid to mix and match your citrus. I also used buttermilk from @fenfarmdairy in Suffolk from their honesty shop. Last night we ate it still warm from the oven. #cake #lemondrizzle #homebaking #citrus #buttermilk
A Simple tomato, goats cheese and basil salad, spa A Simple tomato, goats cheese and basil salad, spanking fresh asparagus / fried in olive oil, season, then add a little boiling water, not too much, put on the lid, dressed with lemon zest & Parmesan, @fenfarmdairy baron bigod cheese, good bread. This is how I like to eat. Claire’s plates found at the beccles brocante. #suffolk #suffolkfood #supper #dinnerwithfriends  #vintageplates
Can’t wait to see what they will be like when th Can’t wait to see what they will be like when they are fired. All my favourite themes: gingham and scallops. Thanks to @clairebelljar for a wonderful weekend and pottery workshop. Such fun! #workingwithyourhands #playtime #creativity #ceramics #pottery #suffolk
Making plates with talented potter & old South Ham Making plates with talented potter & old South Hampstead girl @clairebelljar in Suffolk. She has the most beautiful house I’ve ever seen. Such a joy to be reunited with her. #friendsreunited #makers #potters #scalloped #wildflowers #cowparsley #pottery
Another budget gourmet recipe, the Sicilian capona Another budget gourmet recipe, the Sicilian caponata, which is like a more interesting ratatouille, in which you add capers, olives & vinegar. £2.50p. I was asked to develop a series of recipes which were delicious enough to serve at a dinner party but also cheap. I shopped at Lidl. #costoflivingcrisis #budgetgourmet #recipe #vegetarian #vegan #lidluk
Mackerel pâté, a recipe that cost under £2.50. Mackerel pâté, a recipe that cost under £2.50. Lemon & herb smoked mackerel fillets from @lidl (take off skin)3 big scoops creme fraiche from Lidl and juice of half a lemon. Blend. Plenty of black pepper. Serve with bread. #budgetgourmet #costoflivingcrisis #eatorheat
Just wrote a very personal piece for @hamandhigh o Just wrote a very personal piece for @hamandhigh on my decade as a single parent on benefits, how I learned to cook & how things are so much harder now because not only are ingredients pricier but the cost of cooking them is too. 3 budget gourmet meals serving 4, for £2.50 each. #costoflivingcrisis #budgetgourmet #povertyshame #singleparents #foodblogger
Easter Sunday. Daffodil skeletons. Easter Sunday. Daffodil skeletons.
Just made @davidlebovitz recipe for blood orange u Just made @davidlebovitz recipe for blood orange upside down cake as I had some to use up. It tastes very marmeladey. Probably used too deep a pan. #sundaybaking #recipe #thelastofthebloodoranges #april #easter
Today learning how to build a dry stone wall in t Today  learning how to build a dry stone wall in the cotswolds which is famous for the picturesque walls & hedgerows. My teacher, Richard Gray, told us about the different stones: face, foundation, pin & coping. It is a mortal ( mortar?) sun to use cement on a dry stone wall- it means the stones can’t breathe. These walls last 100 years- they cost £300 a metre. A pro can build 3 metres a day. Richard once did a quote for kylie Minogue. His firm is Hillrise stonework. This course is run by @notgroveholidays There is a world championship for drystone walling. #craft #building #drystonewall #cotswolds #staycation
Ukrainian inspiration: cabbage rolls stuffed with Ukrainian inspiration: cabbage rolls stuffed with rice, mushrooms, garlic, dill. Baked with sauerkraut & mushroom stock for 1.5 hours. Delicious comfort food. #cookforukraine #vegetarian #cabbagerolls #sauerkraut #easterneuropeanfood
Getting there. Making a pleated lampshade for @sie Getting there. Making a pleated lampshade for @siennamarla’s living room. Fabric from @clothshoplondon training by @workshopminerva frame #making #craft #sewing #lampshade #interiors
Stuffed peppers with roasted buckwheat, feta, dill Stuffed peppers with roasted buckwheat, feta, dill and a sour cream, tomato & smoked paprika sauce. Kasha or buckwheat can be bought at polish shops. It’s a grain but full of protein. I did a recipe with it in v is for vegan - a stuffed cabbage. You can buy plain or roasted. #cookforukraine #buckwheat #kasha #stuffedpeppers #vegetarian #visforvegan
Ukrainian quick cucumber pickles dipped in honey. Ukrainian quick cucumber pickles dipped in honey. Strangely addictive. Recipe from next weeks column in the ham and high. #cookforukraine #supperclub #slavaukraini #pickles #dronedowner #ukraine #recipe
An etched glass window in my bathroom to replace t An etched glass window in my bathroom to replace the very fashionable fluted glass I had. Thing is this glass works better in a flat dated 1906. Glass by @baronglass  #interiors #etchedglass #bathroom #trellis #londonflat
Making Ukrainian Easter bread, with sour cherries Making Ukrainian Easter bread, with sour cherries and saffron, adapted from a recipe in Mamushka by Ukrainian chef @oliahercules #slavaukraini #easter #baking #sour #sourcherries #supperclub
Making some Ukrainian inspired recipes for my next Making some Ukrainian inspired recipes for my next column. Quick pickled mini cucumbers & a herring, Granny Smith & egg salad from Black Sea by @edentravels on the way is the Ukrainian Easter bread by @oliahercules and in the oven are roasted kasha (buckwheat)stuffed peppers with a sour cream, paprika & tomato sauce by me. I’ve only been to Kyiv as a stopover on the way to Georgia but I’ve done various Eastern European influenced supper clubs in the past. Maybe I should do a Ukrainian one as a fundraiser? #slavaukraini #supperclub #sunflowerseeds&hope #stopthewar #blue&yellow
Load More... Follow on Instagram

Archives

Copyright © 2022 msmarmitelover