Things I learnt on Bastille Day:
1. Don’t attempt to make a croquembouche when it’s raining. It will collapse.
2. Wear protective gloves when dipping profiteroles in liquid caramel. I’m sure there were some fingertips glued to the construction.
3. A mix of Pastis and red wine and absinthe renders you inactive for at least 24 hours.
4. Never do front of house. I don’t have the temperament, especially towards the end of the evening.
“Would you like some coffee?”
“What sort of coffee?”
“Coffee coffee” (barked with impatience)
“Can I have an espresso?”
“It’s a home restaurant. I don’t have a 20 grand espresso machine.”
“Can you make one on the stove top?”
“I can’t be arsed. Especially after making you gluten-free bread.”
I must say, I do feel sorry for coeliacs. I had to pipe the bread onto the tray as you can’t knead it. It ‘s more like cake than bread.
Here is my recipe:
500g Dove’s gluten free flour
tspn of sugar
15g Xanthan gum
Some corn meal.
Mix all the ingredients together. Make foil moulds for the baguettes, dull side out. Spray it with oil and dust with cornmeal. Place the ‘dough’ in a mixing bag and pipe onto oiled foil. Leave to rise for 45 minutes, then ‘slash’ some cuts into the baguettes. Bake in a hot oven for 20 minutes approximately. Spray the oven with water to make steam which will give the bread a crust.