I couldn’t eat toast for years when I was drinking heavily, because it was too noisy. Clarissa Dickson Wright.
Escargot is French for ‘fat crawling bag of phlegm’ Dave Barry.
I just heard I won a competition. The prize is a year’s supply of Marmite- one jar. Tim Vine.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup? John Mendoza
A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. P.J.O’Rourke.
The wife said she’d like to eat out for a change. So I moved the dining room table into the garden. Les Dawson.
The other night I ate a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. George Carlin.
Look! I’m using the original notches that came with my belt. Homer Simpson.
Tim Key and Chris on guitar
Douwe Egberts coffee