One of the things that I find most disturbing about today’s world is the lack of contact between the generations. As people are leaving having children till later in life, you find whole swathes of adults that do not know any children. For many of my friends, my daughter is the only child that they know, and as she’s now 14, this status will soon change. A life without children is an empty life in my opinion, sterile and narcissistic. You don’t actually need to procreate but you need contact across the generations.
I left having a child till quite late admittedly. I’m not sure why. I guess I thought it would clamp down on my freedom (which it did) but endless freedom is a drag. When my daughter was a baby, I was amazed at how much time I wasted before (what did I actually do with all that free time?) and the sheer bloody interestingness of having a child.(Lone parenthood on the other hand, once the kid is in bed, is about as dull as it gets, and I had to shut down whole sections of myself in order to cope).
Watching a child grow is like a show, a continually evolving entertainment. Especially when it’s your own. Who need TV?
My other thought this morning is the parallel fear of commitment. This is pandemic in modern western urban society. Fear of committing to a relationship, a job, a set of values, a religion, a country, a community. But without commitment there is no achievement. It’s impossible. It seems the only fashionable commitment is to oneself, ones’ own development, one’s own needs. The idea of self-sacrifice and service is anathema. Kindness is not valued, it’s for losers. One of the strangest things in the American Constitution is “The right to happiness”. Unfortunately I think we have taken the constitution at its word.
gypsy
April 23, 2008 at 11:33 amInteresting thoughts marmite lover. I actually think the word commitment will vanish from the dictionaire or it will mean something really negative like prison or life sentence – it already does actually!!!However being a bit of a commitment phobe myself (not in everything only re partners) I do wonder why it is such a problem – too much choice, fear of intimacy, fear of loss, fear of looking foolish – who knows but I think it's a particularly english thing and there should be medication for it!!!
marmitelover@mac.com
April 23, 2008 at 11:40 amthanks for your comment, gypsy (your pseudo suggests lack of commitment in itself n'est ce pas?)
I'm personally making a commitment to making a fool of myself…opening up whenever I can summon up the courage.
If life is a performance then the only performance worth watching is authentic, close to the bone and vulnerable…
I think there already is medication, its called drugs.