“this is a problem of mass”
“at all times there should be four sets of hands on the table”
(he has worked in disaster relief and given lectures at the Pentagon). We sit down for snacks and drink. We chat about ‘collapsonomics‘. I should be getting on with cooking. But it’s too interesting. I met @Hexayurt at the Mayfair school of thought and again at @dougald’s School of Everything. He’s super intense and charismatic. Inspired by the lecture at The company of Astrologers…‘Facing the financial winter’, I’d like to get financial astrologers, collapsonomic experts and forward-thinking political types together to brainstorm at an Underground Restaurant event. Watch this space.
Johnny, dryly:”Shall we kick ’em out in the rain or give ’em a drink?”
At 7.15 pm my parents arrive. My mum is an astrologer, DF Astrol. I can’t even seat them because of the last minute astrologers. My mum spends the night washing up and being snapped at by me. Sorry mum and dad!
“Try and keep the guests out of the kitchen for the first couple of courses” I tell Johnny and Jo. “They can have a look later”.
I overhear someone say “Do we all have to sit according to our signs?”.
“What’s a ‘miz mem’?” I ask.
“It’s a misery memoire. All about my childhood. It’s called ‘Touched by Evil: A Childhood Survived Against All Odds'”
Johnny observed that the astrologers, for instance, were “competing with each other”.
The atmosphere was that of an office party. The astrologers didn’t ‘get it’. One ‘princess’ asked for her bottle of white to be kept in the fridge, in between glasses.
Jo was trying to find room in the fridge and I said: “No. This is a home restaurant. We don’t have the room. Tell her to fuck off.”
“Did you enjoy it?” I asked one woman as she left.
She glared at me then spat:”No. I missed most of it. And I hate chocolate.”
I was speechless. Was it my fault that she arrived late (and drunk)? The real issue was that she didn’t get to sit with her friends. Mixing with others is part of the charm of a home restaurant. First come, first seated. You have to ask your friends to save you a place if you want to sit with them.